follow the system
follow the system
follow the system
a butterfly actually landed on me at my first day of employment at a new job
i know they symbolize change
that had actually been on my bucket list
and the other day when mediating and creating art in central park in the night, a dog, sat in front of me willingly
it seems as though im one with nature
and i am
i felt myself finding myself
but i feel like im back at square one but in a new world
i cant go back to who i once was
i will never know that place again
but this feeling
feeling at the bottom
will never be missed because it is always to come
follow the system
but which one?
the one i believe in, the one i imagine is for me, or the one that i see?
life is strange and confusing
is it the purgatory?
that sounds insane
but we must go crazy to survive
and all i want from this whole experience is to
feel alive
and just like im picky about eating food because i eat with my eyes
im picky about how i want to experience life
and my stubborn childlike ego gets the best of me
its confusing to think i can get what i want if i put my mind to it
but my fate is already written for me
paradoxical?
oxymoron?

and i still wait for someone
its fun having fun for the moment
but its all gone in a blink of an eye
the universe knows i long for long term
but thrusts its rapid force of change in front of me
i have no choice but to accept and enjoy what is presented to me
appreciate what i've been gifted to experience
pain, joy, pleasure
joy, pleasure, pain
pleasure, pain, joy
its all the same ****
but i still wait for someone
knowing i can see that aspect of my life as clear as water
that in the near future no soul on this earth is for me
and maybe in the next life
i shall meet you

i shall see
but until then
i still wait for someone

i got in touch with my roots today
totem .
i know who you were before this
i see who you were before this
i will get you past this
i understand to an extent your reason for ascending
but to change into this form is quite aesthetically pleasing to awe at
intriguing to study
how many of you  make up this "timid" universe
continue to reveal yourself
didn't curiosity **** the cat?

i broke the rules today
the ones i created for myself
and what did that result in
a soul who is less scared of the demons that control this matrix
time doesn't exist so i feel like i have all the time in the world
to stop
and analyze things from a better perspective
this world moves fast for the man
but
we dont move ourselves
or for ourselves
everything is coming together
and she's ready to fly
i cant help but to be awake in this realm and the other
this is all a dream or reality
d r e a m s t a t e .  
mind. s p i r i t . soul.

life is a paradox
trying to understand it seems like a projection of my subconscious
since i am the universe, i am a paradox
**** the narrator
existence only promises pain, joy. and pleasure
we are here for no amount of time
but we are always on time
this train im on is suffocating
but its reassuring that im headed in the right direction
we are in all this together
but all you have is yourself
evolution and revolution is destined

keep going

silence is my best friend
its my loudest roar
its me crying for help
i need a little more of your
comfort
i dont want you to know my deepest desires
this is my style
i need you around a little while
im not good at expressing my emotions
cause i dont understand it myself
the moon got me moving in ways i dont intend to
but maybe, oh i do
i do want to be free
i want to see where i never thought i could be
i want to fly
i just need a start
i just need a heart
one more time
i dont think i have much left in
to have faith
in something that doesnt change
but what i realized
is that i
have faith
inside
inside of me for myself

I don’t have much to hold on to
That’s why i can’t let you go
You were the first thing in my life that brought me happiness
You kept me moving
You kept me going
But little did I know
You would ruin the little life I had inside of me
You’re my favorite hello
But when it comes to you goodbye doesn’t exist
See you got me so ******* intertwined by the words that you spit
Even when your actions say otherwise, I can’t seem to forget
Our love is like a paradox
Yeah, we on some puppy love ****
But you **** up the equilibrium, then **** just don’t click
I go from i love this *****, to this ***** makes me sick
You go from man I love this *****, to I can’t with this ****
Then I ask myself, what am I doing wrong?
Is it the unconditional love I give?
Is it the drive that I have to not give up on us?
You’re my heartbeat
You’re my oxygen
A minute to days to weeks without you I feel like I can’t live
But it’s like **** this ****
I don’t need this ****
You some lame *** ***** that I made feel like he was the ****
I was told real men don’t cry
But I thought that **** was genuine when they shed from your eyes
I became cupid’s fool again
Love makes me blind
Love to me was like candy to a kid
But now it’s like a crime