I was in love with the night
until the first sunbeam crossed my eyes and touched my skin,
I fell in love with your sin.
I was in love with the light
until the last second of faith went away,
left sorrow and a reason to pray,

I'm feeling ready to stop and lay.
Mother Mary,
Please,
Take this breath away.

I'm so fool
Washing my hair
Hoping to clear my mind

My thoughts shout
the beauty
I live
to gain,
the things I don't need to prove,
the pride I won't dare to show,
the deception of the reflections
that burns into my soul

My body shouts
the thoughts I disgust to have

I want to speak the truth
At all times
no matter what,
So I stay quiet as an act of wisdom
And I listen to people’s unstoppable complains.

"You don’t know what pain is.
I do.
Nobody has ever touched agony as I had.
You don’t know what it's like to refuse the air I breathe.
I’m unhappy.
I wish I was physically unhealthy
I experienced the most painful parturition a woman could ever had
It’s unfair
I was mercilessly abused
I’m bad. I’m sorry"

A mind that’s convinced itself that there is exclusivity in pain and punishments is dangerous

Delicate like fingers on triggers
Priority given to cold human actions
Fuel to antisocial tendencies
Justifications to blinding power.
Accept suffering.
Denial’s no good,
but do have in mind,
Self-pity is a disgrace.

About the past,
What they’ve done to you... does it  really haunt you?
Or have you turned your traumas into excuses to depreciate yourself and hurt those who once claimed they love you?

Self-pity is nothing but self-revenge.