I love your harsh voice in my ears
telling me what you want to hear
so sing your voice behind your mask
telling me that you know best
but all things good and bad shall pass.
Telling me to leave it all behind,
so now that i'm all on my own, i burn the pages
unleash their rages
Telling me how to live alone,
but you think i'm the only one
Telling me this isn't like the last time,
I'll show you why I lie in wait
spiting you, i lie in hate
Step out of this dream, no thoughts of nightmares
Telling me you speak no lies,
but it's not the truth that drags me over my line
past my limit, let it go and give it up
Telling me that you won't quit,
but you forget- it's just my luck

The sound of your voice
is just a noise in the background
as I turn my back
on the sight of your face
shining through that mirroring window,
thousands of turning facets
reflecting my every thought distorted.
It's only skin
only lines of fire on my palms
as I reach out for you, but you're not there
just like I wasn't time and time again.
They're only thyndering drums inside my head
only pounding beats inside my chest.
It's only a racing pulse bound to stop.
It's only a creeping shadow growing in my eyes
and a cold feeling in my fingers.
It's nothing to worry about,
so just take it as it comes.
It's only a slip, a fall, a dive,
into unknown waters, it's only dark and unexplored
Nothing to fear, it's only another eternal lullaby

I dream no warnings of the pain yet to come
in the night before my heart comes short yet again.
I've never been so glad to see you turn your back
because as the tears begin to slow
and the fresh wounds begin to flow,
you can't be here to see it.
So much for love, I say goodbye
to the stitches that barely held me together.
I say goodbye to you.
So much for safety, I say goodbye
to numbness so appreciated.
So much time to be alone in a crowd
because your hand's not in mine.
Now I can't stand to walk away from you
because I know you don't want me anymore.
So much for a second chance
our first try fell to pieces, it was the first and only.
Pressure building, forcing us apart.
I'm still reaching for your hand
but you're busy hiding your heart
and you don't understand you're shutting mine away.
Expect this to last, like the pain,
yet laying here alone, I can't bring myself to shed a tear
so I think on the words you said, and understand.
My lips will never brush yours again,
your fingers will never follow my veins so lightly.
With your clean break, your fingers become razors.
Now there's a heaviness in the beat of my heart,
a stabbing pain in my throat with each shuddering breath,
old wounds split open with every pulse.
If this is my life, then bury me with all of these words.
All I want is for you to offer me your arms sincerely
to tell me that you'd miss me.
Tell me what those words meant to you
and open my eyes again.
Nightmare wishes never go unfulfilled
In my sleep, I tell you to never say 'I love you'
but now I don't need to worry about it.
Do you cry over this like I do?
Sobs that might as well be silent
because the person you need to hear them doesn't?
No need to think about leaving and dying
you took the choice from my hands.
Cutting me down, soon nothing will be left.
I'm exhausted, apathy as sharp as this useless self-pity.
I sigh, and the sound of it sends me over the edge.
Now I'm lost in a crowd,
no sound but the echo of your voice,
asking me how long I though this would last...

An unasked question hangs on the tip of my tongue
While I hang on your every word.
Does it need to be heard, or named
To be accepted?
Do you want it to be-
Or more importantly, do you want it to be me?
How long is this wait, or should I even question fate?
How do you decide with your head
The matters of your heart?
And I know I shouldn’t worry now
About what I’d regret later
Or I’ll miss out on the present.
Am I too old to get the feeling
Of butterflies in my stomach,
Flying upward to scramble my thoughts?
How would I know if the ***** of those wings
Will cause the winds of a storm later on?
The questions multiply
And divide all desire from logic.
How long would the feeling last,
And the friendship after that?
Will I ever know if you got the same feelings
When we just lie there, no need to lie to the world?
How will I know
If you miss my arms around you?
One-sided desire is never enough,
But misguided, two-sided addiction
Only makes things more painful.
Could we just let it happen?
Or would that be like not seizing the opportunity?
How do we know
Unless we just go?

Unconcious hopes change into filtered dreams
barely remembered as centuries turn bones to dust-
we despair as crippled loves just fade to ash.
You've gone so far away, yet I see you every day
out of the corner of my eye and the eye of my mind.
So now you've reappeared, just pretend that it's alright.
Don't worry, I don't mind, because without you, I was blind.
Moving on with you by my side never made much sense,
but it happens, oddly enough.
I need to learn to let it go;on the wings of an angel,
or falling down the face of a cliff like the teardrop that is life.
Breaking the boundaries that are bones,
stoppin the rythm of your heart that keeps you imprisoned.
Your memory eternal, like the passing of a baton,
or the flame of these burning pages
from a burnt hand to one unscarred, unscathed.
Spreading like a wildfire, a disease, rotting your mind
from the moment our hands touched.
Do anything to put the festering memories at rest,
All choice is gone, so doesn't hope have to die as well?
They churn your stomach, you crawl in your skin,
eager to tear yourself away from it all
and leave your pain in the grave of the past.
The idea of carrying the mistake is to learn from it all,
but what do we do if it's too much for a single back to bear?
Involve another, rely on friends like pillars
supporting the weight of your Hell
so much that a moment alone leaves you pinned to the floor,
unable to move, to do anything but shake and scream,
but it won't be the first time.
No such thing as an overreaction
when your life magnifies every emotion.
Jealousy and anger, your endless pain even in elation.
All mountainous highs and pitch black holes in the earth.
Losing momentum until you flatline,
but even then gravity takes its course,
dragging you to the center while your heart still beats,
though you're unable to feel warmth inside or out any longer.
Dream of a funeral, of the sound of lamenting friends.
Life is a cloudless day, but without color,
or the twin beats of the sun on your face and your heart,
it might as well be a winter night.

We were always somewhere in between
hello and goodbye. the extremes of our emotions-
our joy and our lust, our anger and our despair.
Wide-eyed happiness to shocked tears falling o the floor,
clutching at the hole in my chest-
the world seen through a gray veil of loneliness,
like it was seen from the bottom of a well.
You'll talk of seeing red, but all I can see
are the darkest shades of gray,
like the slightest of breezes
born from a lover's dying breath.
Gut-wrenching and heart-shattering
hoping that I'll be here to watch you leave
and never return- walk away
and never look back.
Anger and hate don't just run deep in my veins;
they fill them to the point of bursting,
like the blackest of nights and the cold grip of terror
pumped straight from a heart as dark
as every hurt you've eve felt, of every pain you've ever caused.
You'll know the pain
should you so much as glance at the wrists,
and so you cover them up, forgotten in the furthest put of your mind;
and you'll know the perfection of loneliness,
as soon as you pull the trigger.

This is why I was written as a tragedy.
This is why the only comedy in my life is mirthless.
I'm sitting here laughing at the pain
as I'm battling it for control.
This is why you'll only get out alive
So many times.
This is why our time, it ends.
This is life, and this is love.
This is pain, but this is also familiarity.
This is life, and it doesn't end until it's done with you.
These are choices, and these are the consequences.
This is the fate of all the start-crossed lovers
and others alike.
This is facing the unknown alone.
Life, and even death, is random.
Like explosions.
Of the clearest colors
vibrant like a lifting veil-
of earsplitting noises
Like the sounding of thunder from the skies above-
Like the moment of peace after a supernova sun.
Or was it before?
In our lives, we'll never know.