A drink, a dance
by skill, by chance
no matter how hard you try
she'll make you cry
because it's always favorites,
it's always looks
because rejection cuts deeper
than pain itself
colder than the heart of winter
is hate from her
because after that,
your heart is blacker
than the darkest shadow.
Cracked right down the middle
because of her.
No matter how you try
you will always love

Her

No matter how you feel
no matter the faults you see
you will
because love happens to be blind
and deaf
You can only hope that your heart
will be whole once more
but you will always love her,
so it never will
because you will always try
too hard, but never enough
to get your mind off her
and when you close your eyes
expecting darkness
you will see her,
because she will be a part of you
and you know that when you close
your heart as well as your eyes,
you will see her more vibrant;
more beautiful
than you can even think of
and you will always regret closing
your heart and throwing away the key
because you can't stand to see her cry
and know it's
all
your
fault
All you know is that
you just want to apologize
for what you were
for what you weren't
All you want is to sleep again,
but you know that she'll be there
in your dreams foorever
in your thoughts always
but inyour selfish heart never
and in your arms the same

It's always hard
to get the girl
when she thinks
you don't exist,
because you're the invisible,
the fly on the wall
the one that no one likes
but it's all right,
and it's okay,
it's not like you really loved her,
when in fact
you loved
and loved her
with all your heart.
You made it obvious
over and over,
time and again
you still do
you still will
no matter what happens,
you will love her,
and hate her,
But it's all right.
and it's okay
because they're the same,
it's insanity
it feels like crap
and it's not your fault
that you're below her,
but it is your fault
for thinking she'd feel he same
about you as you do her
but when 'it' is love,
you've got it bad, it's never good,
you've got it strong, it makes you weak
and no matter what you say,
you won't give it up
but it's not all right,
and it's not okay
because it's always hard to get the girl
when she thinks you don't exist.
Because to her you don't
because you're the invisible, the fly on the wall

Tearing at my heart
biting wind of your farewell
when will you return?

You see what you've done?
Why do you pull me apart?
ripping at the seams

It seems that you can
Read me like an open book
are you confused now?

Caught in the moment,
in all ways but the right one,
because of three words.
The ones I wish I never
even though I meant.
You've always broken me down,
now she picks me up
her smile a flame
a guiding point in the dark
that shows me new hope.
Not that I didn't love you.
I will always care,
just know you left me hanging
hanging by a thread
over the blades of sorrow
and I understand.
Just another way to die
came with that dead love,
and rests in my mind.
Laughter was inspiration
your tears were my pains.
Gifts that were once yours,
yet are yours no more/
Trying to reclaim myself
shattered up pieces.
I asked for you to guide me,
take me by the hand,
share a world we understand.
Now you will always
be immortalized as 'Her'.
She who broke my heart,
one that was put together
at the perfect time
by the one who really cared
the one who saw me
tearing apart at the seams
the one who showed me
there's a place for me somewhere.
Three cheers for goodbye
Pain, suffering are both me
never forgotten
never in a thousand years.
When the sun freezes
cold, and in empty despair
you will share this pain.
Nothing but a memory,
and a faint one, that,
is in your heart forever
just maybe not quite
in the space that it once was.
Not in the same light
but there in by memory
the faded light of love.
But that is just the story,
story of a life.

Into the ocean, into the deep
Into the darkness, down I sweep
Into my mind these dark thioughts seep,
Taking the only luxury I keep.
Reserved and restrained, lost in plain sight
Not hidden by familiar shadows,
Rather a dull gray shade that falls upon me.
Insights to a past life through ink on paper,
Forgotten in mourning, focused on what is not
What is not there, no one seems to care.
Not wasting a life in grasping,
Reaching for what was lost, what was taken away
Never a release, just holding
Onto past lives lost in love, holding
Onto the same feelings,
The same highs and lows
Live life searching, looking for a new love,
Not the mundane pain that is welcomed now.
The silver lining, showing through the dark clouds
Swarming thicker, all around me
Confused feelings are surrendered
Through the passing of a note from my hands to yours.
Never regained, never the same
Uncertainty kills, and ignorance blinds, yet it heals
Built up to be broken down in cycle
Endless or so we think.
Suprises numb, knowledge strains,
Difference cuts
Through the veil that makes you think
Everything’s all right.
Not for long now, not as long as we think.
Pain strengthens, then hope lifts us higher
Only to fall lower, though never quite reaching
Not touching the bottom, the deepest of ourselves
Unchecked they run, freely so they think
The assurances of constant safety
It all disappears
In the end
When none of it matters anymore
You realize that it did
And more than you know.
Beautiful music, heard no longer
No longer shining, fallen to the ground
Welcome the pride, fall from grace
Fade into the night, pained by the darkness
Never really goodbye,
Pained by the absence
Of your voice in my head
Of your face in my eyes
Yet I do it in vain
And I remember the pain,
The highs and the lows
The sighs and the “no’s”
Of a love thought endless
There for me no more,
Chilled to the bone, frozen to the core
Broken down inside, never waking up,
You were there in the void.
The darkness of my mind
Is made more so by the absence of you in my life
More than you know

Never seems to be enough
For what I have to say
For what I think, for what I feel.
Written words are not enough,
They don’t do justice to what you mean.
As I hang my head down low,
Resigned to this inevitable fate,
At mercy to my emotions’ wrath.
Drowning me in the darkest waters
I would see nothing but you,
And more than I see now.
Embraced it, tried to let it in,
Yet they trapped me, those feelings
Disoriented and stumbling,
I’ll always fall down,
Yet it never seems enough
Not enough for you to fall in my arms now,
Not enough for response,
Not enough to think of me.
It’s never enough for what I have to say.
You were the one who made me feel
Everything at once.
You were the one who made me hear
Your voice inside my head.
I fell in love,
Fell with the one,
The one who made me numb.
Cold inside, I fell, never drawing breath
Maybe now we’ve outgrown all
The things that we once loved

It all happened at once. Everything he could have hoped for. Everything he had feared since the first moment he said he loved her. Blood rushed to his head as he heard her mutter those three words, and then flushed from his face as he noticed the curious, vacant look in her eyes. He realized that he had shared the feelings that went along with that look: the heart-fluttering joy and breath-quickening high that she could only get by holding the face of that one person, the one who had stolen her heart, in her mind's eye. He felt frigid inside, colder than he ever had in his life; numb inside, like those words were deadening his nerves and darkening his vision. He was cold, and yet underneath it was a raging inferno; the racing fire of every feeling bottled up for years that seemed like decades building up in one moment in his dead heart, a fierce pain coursing through his body and gathering once again, yet in his wrists, begging to be released from his body in a final goodbye. He had never felt this way before. In a split second his life had ended, but he was forced to live through this; his only purpose had been taken from him. She was that purpose, and he raged against himself trying to understand why she would so willingly give away all he had worked for, all he had suffered for: didn't she know that he loved her? Didn't she know that he sould do anything for her to prove that? Did she not understand the one simple fact that she had been, is, and will always be the only person who would hold his heart with the same intensity? These three words were almost the ones he had written for her, yet had never quite gotten around to letting her hear. deep down, he had always known, from the moment he met her, that there was no future for them, and that she would never love him, nor even like him, more than a mere friend. The words were harmless to the one that she said them about, but they were worse than a shot to the heart for him, the one who loved Her. She had said "I love him".