i tend to cough up emotions
like a bad taste in my mouth
the bitterness leaving a sweet aftertaste
disintegrating and unveiling sickness
infecting loved ones who were spit on
their sniffling secedes
healed with apologetic tinctures
never meaning to contaminate them
feeling recovered in their well-being
i cough again
bedridden in a lifetime of disease

to tell you "i love you" with every bone in my body isn't enough
love filled marrow
lungs suffocated with lust

your word isn't what i wanted
i needed you to call
couldn't even say "i love you"
possibly a little bit
but nothing at all

the life we created in our heads
at 2 a.m.
with a chilling bang
our truthfulness dissipated
loud and completely ******

forgiven and forgotten
i had nothing left to lose
why don't you hold me then, darling?
together we can be broken and bruised