Today, I choose balance

Teenagers all over are wondering why they can't get a dude or a chick. Here's why. You're doing it all wrong! First, you're chasing after it so desperately that the universe doesn't even want you to find that person. A desirous mind often leads to a disastrous find. And if you get so lucky, cheating at fate's own game, you find somebody. You're so quick to saying he's your boyfriend or she's your girlfriend. Small talk, cute good morning texts, and hugs at school. But answer me this... in what position do they sleep? Which parent are they closer with? What plagues their mind when they're alone? You couldn't answer those questions, could you? That's because you tried to build a house on sand and you used infatuation and desperation to fortify it. The person you're with is supposed to be a person you trust. You freak out and call them multiple times because you're afraid they're cheating. You wouldn't have this problem if you trusted them. I understand, what is there to trust? You barely even know them. But then again, you wouldn't even have this problem if you would have just waited for whatever your God had planned for you instead of chasing it like researchers tracking an untagged shark in Australia. I promise you... you want to be with someone whom you love unconditionally. Someone you like genuinely, who you know you can turn to whenever you just need a friend. Someone who knows the story behind why you hate popcorn, and your favorite books to read, and your load-out on COD. They've got to be able to know what hurts in order to help you mend, what chases you from your past so you keep on running, and when you fall they need to know if you'll let them catch you. All these things are simple if you just wait. Love isn't rocket science, but you'll see it that way if you keep on making the same mistakes and not learning from them.

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein.

It’s dark outside, I wonder if someone’s trying to get in
I’m hungry, but I already had my allotted calories for the day
Should I throw away that ****** tissue?
I wonder if he thinks I look pretty today
Windbreakers make me look dope
I wonder if she heard that I told her to f* off
Am I a *******?
Don’t kiss me yet
I don’t like my thighs
My teeth aren’t white enough
I shouldn’t eat this
Strawberries are only good on some days
Orange ***** unless it’s in a sunset
Aww
That tree would be sufficient for a hanging
I dream of his musty scent
God is real, but heaven is not
Shut up
Shut the f* up
I think I’ll stop eating and turn into a skeleton
I should create my own country in my room that America can’t imperialize
Nuclear reactor cores are so fascinating
I have the urge to watch bad things
***** social media
My mood is decaying like Chernobyl
I ache for the sting of a blade
Sometimes I see a demon when I look in the mirror
I’m scared of the dark
Latin is a cool language
What if he wants to cheat on me sometimes because I ****?
Dolla dolla bill y’all
Well I hate my body
It’s too hot in this room
Today was a success
Why don’t you go **** a carrot?
Keep smiling, it makes you look great
Yes, if under a certain circumstance with the opportunity, I’d remove myself from this world
Man I feel just like a rockstar
If I don’t like how my body looks so much, why don’t I ever do anything to fix it?
My fish is going to die
I haven’t been home alone in a long time
I need to quit soda
Novi (I learned)
Maybe if I cut it, I don’t have to see it for what it really is
I wonder how I can make myself throw up
I tried, it didn’t work
I swear I’m not bulimic
Am I happy?
Is this a false sense of happiness?
Am I on drugs?

You feel everything on your mind is wrong, you’re not allowed to think.
For if you do, I think you’ll find you’re standing on the brink.
I don’t know what you are, and I don’t know what you’ll do if your ceiling decides to break and collapse into your room.
I’m sorry love, it’s very sad to feel so warm and cold. I know you can’t make up your mind and you’re afraid to be bold.
Nights and mornings are certainly and very better than the afternoon. It’s only one, it’s boring there, and I’m sure you’re meeting your doom.
You forgot how to think, and you forgot how to be. Maybe one day you’ll understand and be able to set yourself free.
It’s obvious you forgot how to write, the sentences are blurred. I watched you sitting down for awhile, not being able to find a word.
I guess you could just keep on running, it’s easier that way. But one day I know you’ll stop and there in that place you’ll stay.
You wonder why I’m very sure you’re eventually going to stop. It only takes a couple of months for the mind fog to drop.
Maybe you’ll learn to balance it out and figure out who you are. It’s tedious to stay on this teeter totter, you might need to leave this to the stars.
Shred your body, sweat real hard, but still allow yourself to think. ‘Cause if you don’t, it’s very easy to lose yourself again in a wink.
I know you’re looking at that blade, its shine is mesmerizing. But I promise you if you put it down, you’ll only keep on climbing.
You can tell him that you’re sorry and you can tell him that you love him. But you have to make sure to show it otherwise he won’t know what love is.
I don’t really know the solution for you, you’re cycling through all of the choices. I know you don’t know whether or not to adhere to the voices.
I’m thinking you should give yourself a break, I don’t remember your last time of rest. Well maybe you can lay down for awhile, I promise it’s for the best.
I’m going to sit back for awhile and let you dance to this tune, I’ll watch how you’re doing, how you feel and I promise we’ll meet again soon.

They said you made me and that’s why I’m here.
They said if I fell down to my knees and looked up toward the sky, I could ask for help.
They said you listen but you don’t speak.
They said your answers come with the gusts of the wind, the same wind that dries your eyes and wakes you up.
So if you’re really up there, I ask for strength to get up off of this floor I’m curled up on.
If you can heal me, close the wounds on my knuckles I created just now, and remove the scars on my arms and thighs.
I can’t speak right now, could you let them know I’m sorry?
I think you already know I’m sorry.
I didn’t try to push them away.
I never meant for it to be like this, but of course if what they’re saying is true, I owe the faulty construct of my mind to you.

Locked away against her will
She reaches out to touch him
But the shackles remain still
The thick metal burns her skin
Her patience is wearing too thin

She drops to the ground after finishing her morose task. She hurt herself for so long she began to hurt somebody else. It was difficult for her to discern between hatred and love, for they seem the same. The tears in his eyes made her feel nothing. Laying there with blood dripping from her mouth and a bitten heart that she dropped on the ground in front of her. He leans over and kisses her lips soaked with his blood, as his entire body goes limp. Her irises shift from onyx to her natural, striking blue. Shaking, and wide-eyed, she pulled out her needle with dried blood and clean, white thread. She apologizes as she shoves the ***** in its place and poorly sews it back in. She begs for forgiveness, sobbing as she looks into her lover’s beautiful hazel eyes. He can’t hear her anymore. This has happened before. She’ll fall asleep only to wake up in the morning with a new hunger and an excruciating thirst for blood. He won’t let her hurt anybody else. His heart is getting poor circulation, he feels cold. Yet what he has left still beats for her. In his everlasting sleep that he’s drifted into, he still dreams of her, the lioness.

I’m hurting but no longer can you soothe the pain
I want you in my bed but no longer can you be
I just want to be felt but no longer can you touch me
I want time to stop but no longer can you kiss me
I feel cold but no longer can you hug me
I feel broken but no longer can you put me back together
I want to cry but no longer can you dry the impending tears
I feel unstable but no longer can you hold me
I want to be yours but no longer can you claim me