I stretch my neck and back out each night.
Feeling the tension held there.

It's a daily burden;
The unsaid words that will inevitably start another fight.

It's not that I don't love you
Because, ultimately, I do.

But sometimes I feel my wings are clipped.
Probably because the hands have flipped.

And I'm left wondering how
Or if, I should fly here and now.

A love
Crushed beneath the
Stones and  rocks
That life has thrown in our way.

"Let he who is not guilty cast the first stone."

And yet,
We both continue to shatter the beautiful illusion we so strive hard to maintain.

Throwing stones at one another.

It builds
Builds until we have created a tomb
Where love once lived.

Sometimes it's the little things
That cause the bird to cease to sing.

I'm painting a clown's face on.
To tell you nothing will go wrong.

But I've worn this face before.
It's deceit
Nothing more

Yet how I do this to someone so true
Someone that's you

It kills me to see you going down this hole
But to know that it will also break my soul...

To stay. To watch. To feel helpless.
Against a crashing tide of depression can I remain selfless?

Sometimes it feels hard to breathe
As of the world has conspired to push me down
A weight lies heavy on my soul.
The candle of hope burns low,
Sputters out.

Yet there have been darker days than this.
Where hell's fires burned black.

My soul in tatters.
Shredded into so many pieces
That it seemed there was no way for it to be mended.

And yet...

Hitting my lowest point
And clawing my way back up
A tattered Phoenix burned and scarred by the flames
Gives me strength

This, and only this makes me find my inner strength once more.

What made, and makes, me weak
Makes me stronger than you could imagine.

The tension has dissipated
I lie here , drained.
The heat that burned so lividly
has been extinguished.

Yet still
the ashes remain.

Another burn, another scar to carry.

To survive
Someone needs to soothe the wounds.

But who?
Probably me.
Again.

I stretch my neck and back out each night.
Feeling the tension held there.

It's a daily burden;
The unsaid words that will inevitably start another fight.

It's not that I don't love you
Because, ultimately, I do.

But sometimes I feel my wings are clipped.
Probably because the hands have flipped.

And I'm left wondering how
Or if, I should fly here and now.

I don't want to shower.
I don't want to shave.
Oh, how well do I know the bottomless pit of that cave.

I smile.
I joke.
I try my best to pull you from that place of no hope.

But, I've been there.

Where there's no real smile,
Just an empty stare.
When you're trying your hardest for those who care.