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Louise Bowman Aug 2010
If I'm feeling lonely
I know that you won't care
But ask yourself why
Go on, if you dare

It's you who made me feel this way
And yet you carry on with a smile
Well I guess that's fine, it had been on the cards for a while

I just hope one day this happens to you
Then you'll know how I feel
I hope someone promises you everything
And you wake to find it's not real
Louise Bowman Feb 2011
People tell me I'm crazy
To feel the way I feel
Becuase it's all superficial
It's based on nothing real

I know in my heart
How great a person you are
And that can't be fake
Or it wouldn't have gotten this far

But I am really scared
Of feeling this way
I'm scared someone better
Will take you away

It's happened before
And it could again
Because you're truly amazing
Others will see it, and, what then?

What then for us?
It just won't be
I don't begrudge you happiness
I just wish it was with me

It would be so easy
To just walk away now
To never find out what could be
But that won't do somehow

I'll take a chance on you
I'll put my heart on the line
It could just work for us
It could all be fine
Louise Bowman Aug 2010
For You…

I’ll never forget, that first day we met
I was crazy, a little lazy
But the memory my friend  is far from hazy

You saw in me; that tortured soul
Through my manic smile, you saw the pain and woe
You helped me through those bad days
And didn’t mind my strange ways

Some time has passed now; I’m older and more wise
But I still look at you as someone who’ll advise
I’ll cry on your shoulder and you’ll make me laugh
I’ll etch on my mind a sweet photograph

I love you best friend; you know who you are
There’s no need to remind you, I’m never far
And I know it works the same for you
You’re as crazy as me and you love me too
Louise Bowman Nov 2010
They often tell you;
"Look on the bright side"
Don't be so down
Ha! I'm smiling on the inside

Honest I am
I can laugh with the best
At you're pathetic cliches
And this pathetic mess

That you call life
Well, that's a joke
We're merely exisitng
We're drowning in the smoke

You can dress it up
And say:" Stay cheerful!"
But to me it's no good
I need to be dull

I need to be real
To see the bad side
Because things don't go good
No ones on my side

And yes I might be a little pessimistic
I might bring a downer on your silly smile
But I can't pretend everythings okay
The realist in me can only hide a while

So I'll stick to my ways,
If you don't mind
Because when things do go well
It's overwhelming joy I find

So here's to us realists
Us pessimists, us sad acts
Let's laugh at the happy losers
When reality hits them with a crash
Louise Bowman Dec 2010
I don't miss you
I just miss that feeling;
that feeling of being more than just me,
That feeling of being "us" of being "we"

Of being "them"
That cute couple
The happy lovers
With hands entwined

It's back to being on my own
Feeling lonely and cold
No one to talk to
No hand to hold

I don't long for you
I long for someone
You've got that
So why can't I?

Don't get me wrong,
I really don't care
I wished you happiness...
I'm happy for you

But I'm sad for me
And this just won't do
I don't want sympathy
I want another you
Louise Bowman Aug 2011
Will this black cloud,
ever shift from my head
Be replaced with sunshine
And make me feel less dead?

I can't weep anymore
I physically just cannot
My whole world is collapsing
I can take no more.

I want to be happy
But what is that anyway?
I don't think I've ever known
But this feeling's here to stay

So please, just take me
Take me away,
Away from this world
Find me a place to stay

A place where I feel no pain
A place where I can be
Left alone forever
And just be me

No I won't do it,
I am too cowardly
I guess I'll just stick around
For my life of misery.
Louise Bowman Jan 2011
I watched you suffer
At the pleausre of those evil girls and boys
Who never let you join in
And broke all your toys

I felt your pain
When those awful adolescents
Tried to beat you down
And laughed at your name

I watched you fight your demons
Fight the voices in your head
Be taken advantage of
By "friends" who know you're easily led

I've watched you torture yourself
For things that aren't your fault
Poison your body
With more than just salt

Now I watch you lying there
In that hospital bed
You've been a stupid man
Again, so easily led

I wish you could just see
How great a person you are
To them you might be a "******"
But to me you are a star

Stop hiding in the haze
Of drugs and alcohol
Because it's not just you, you hurt
When you stumble and fall

What a mess you've made
And it's me who's suffering now
I feel selfish for saying it
I feel like a cow

However daft you've been
And however bad you make me feel
I will love you forever
And that's what's real

That's what matters
That's what's true
I just hope you're around
To see me loving you
Louise Bowman Nov 2010
My mind is blank
I don't know what to say
I'm trying to think of something
But the words won't come my way

I feel I've lots to tell you
But then when we meet
It's a quick hello-goodbye
Like a meet and  greet

I feel like I've missed you
Then I see you once again
Why can't we have a conversation?
Aren't we the best of friends?

So with regret I have to say
That these sad words have come my way
I think we're losing each other
And I think I like it this way

I want you to tell me
That everyhting's okay
That we can go back to how we were
But I'm afraid you've nothing to say

So this is the last hi and bye
The last of the laughs
Although I want to cry
But not all good things last

I hope life treats you well
And Selfishly me too
I won't ever forget and I hope you don't
The best days I shared with you
Louise Bowman Aug 2010
It’s a horrible game you play with me
I’m imprisoned and I want to be free
But you’ll never let me go
And that’s one thing we both know

Cause you’ve got the power
And you’ve got the key
I beg and I plead
And you smile at me

For you know I’m weak
And I can’t resist
My head wants to punch you
But my heart wants a kiss

It gets more twisted
Cause I love it now
You’ve got me right where you want me
I still can’t understand how

You’ve treated me like the little girl I am
You act like a boy, but you are a man
The little girl loves the boy
The man knows this, as he acts coy

Yes you’ve messed with my head
I’ll never be free
Cause you’ve got the power
And you’ve got the key
Louise Bowman Dec 2012
I don't live my life with no regrets
I take it day by day
Those regrets have made me learn
Albeit the hard way
Like the day I wished I could eat my words
The time I made you cry
The day I spoke so out of turn
It made you say goodbye
Staying quiet was never my thing
It probably never will be
I've learned that that is just part of life
Well, part of life with me
I've learned that this,
Is not always the best way
But I learned in the past too
That its awful to have nothing to say
When the words dry up
So does the love
Saying nothing in the past
Was a great learning curve
I guess all it is
I really want to say
Is sorry for talking
And being this way
But if I was quiet
You wouldn't love me
You'd love the great person
I once tried to be
I will keep on regretting
And learning from this
If there was no apology
There'd be no kiss
Louise Bowman Apr 2011
I sometimes sit and long,
For the simplest of things,
Someone to read the paper with
And always answer when I ring

Someone who'll make me cups of tea
And hold me till I sleep
Someone who is strong enough
To be there when I weep

I fool myself everyday
That I'm happy on my own
Put on a happy face in the public view
But the story is different when I'm alone

I really am a simple girl
Who wants a simple life
I want the happy ending
And to be someone's wife

Sometimes it seems these are just dreams
And dreams is all they will be
Because I am so awful
Who'd actually want me?

You can call it self pity
And maybe you're right
But that doesn't stop the fact
I'm sleeping alone tonight

Perhaps it's time to just accept
That love is not for me
I'm destined for loneliness
I'm destined to be free

However, that won't do somehow,
The romantic in me
Will not give up on these ideas
At least not for now
Louise Bowman Aug 2011
Could you just let me in?
Tell me what I did,
To make me feel,
Like I am full of sin?

Am I not living right?
Not being good all the time?
Am I really as awful,
As the person in your sight?

Did I say the wrong thing?
Hurt you at all?
See, I don't think I did
Yet I am blamed for everything.

And they'll all say,
I'm in the wrong.
They never liked me much,
But that never mattered, anyway.

It would appear though,
That it matters now,
Because I am the *****,
The number one foe

I could just forget it,
and say, let it go
You don't desrve me,
Not one little bit

But contrary, to popular belief
I am a good person,
Deep down I am,
And I don't deserve grief

So just let me know,
What I can do,
To make it right
And stop all the woe

Or continue to erase me,
From your sweet life,
Just don't come crawling,
When you can see

See that you were wrong,
Because then it'll be too late,
My good nature,
Only lasts so long.

This may be goodbye,
This may just be it
I'll be sad to see you go
But perhaps it was all a lie.

— The End —