Love makes me a liar
A wordsmith of beautiful lies
I already feel comfortable in the presence of denial
Because love makes me believe it is nothing
Love makes me skeptical and hopeless
It leaves a string dangling over a bridge
And I’m stupid enough to actually reach for it
It leaves me in a different time zone
I’m wide awake while he’s fast asleep

Love makes me smile at the thought
But then surprises me in reality

I’ve only been in love twice in my life
The first time love let me see him
He did not know I existed
I was in the 6th grade when I fell
For the boy who thought he was so cool
And I was just the invisible yet visible doormat

The second was in high school
I fell in love with the boy December once knew
It was the first time I ever uttered that phrase
“I love you”
And like every love story tale
You’d think love would interfere
But this time love did not let that ink spill
Did not cover up this lovely time written
Love did not do anything wrong
Because it was me who ruined a perfectly good love song

Love makes me numb but cry over false desires
It makes me roll my eyes at every painful, angry word
But cry over such a simple question
It lets me know that there is no target
No question, no answer, no abstract metaphors
No Shakespearean play that would appear
Because love shows us tragedy without it being poetic

Love makes pain my muse
It makes me look for another ******* inspiration
But love does not make me look in the skies
No, love makes me look in someone else’s eyes

And if you look at the truth of what love makes me
Love makes me human
Reminds me that perfect is non-existent
But it makes me believe we can find it in reality
So when love arrives welcome it warmly
Smile because love did not let you miss an opportunity

If I scream dear Lord, why oh why
Would he hear the words?
Will the clouds answer me as a sign?
Will the rain be a yes or a no?
If it would shine how would I know?

Why oh why does fate taunt me?
Show me a beautiful sign
Then leave me knowing it was never mine
It’s not love I feel, if it was it shouldn’t be like this
But I look for signs and I look for him

He’s not even here yet I want him to
Dear Lord, why oh why must it be?
Why let me smile yet it will never be me
I know this is just high school infatuation
So please I beg get me out of this heart aching situation

But why am I looking for these signs?
When I never believe that they give any useful information
Is it just my mind being clouded by this longing emotion?
So if the Lord can hear me and these clouds will answer
I hope the rain is just clarity of the weather

I loathe the feeling of desire
Making my heart believe a liar
Let my eyes be blinded by superficial facts
Staring at perfection ignoring its cracks
Trying to understand Shakespearean babble

Wasting hope in wishing wells
Trying to sense the feeling of contended emptiness
In this disappointed and cold happiness
But I will not lie under these false pretenses
Have myself fictional conversations
Because I fell for false accusations

Airplanes flying in the dead of the night
Looking like blinking lights in the sky
Mistaking them for stars lost in space
Moving to meet with distance

Slowly reaching hoping to find its existence
But all we get is an unrequited chance
Presuming the truth we don’t want to face
It’s not fantasy just a new breed of reality

Now they disappeared to a far off place
And all you see are twinkling stills in the dark
Ignoring the city and its neon signs flashing
You care only for the bliss you wish you had