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lotti123 Feb 2015
I need to keep writing
So that poetry could mean something
To me and touch the eyes that read my poetry
I'm not trying to be noticed but I want to share common ground with all those from all around
I don't have a spectacular vocabulary or a special way with words
But I've known for a long time I like to share my words and my thoughts even if sometimes my thoughts are confusing and incomplete
But being apart of hello poetry is exciting and reading everyone's writing only makes me want to practice more
So that I could be as amazing as every bodies poetry I have come to know and read
A lot of talent out there  to even have a little  piece is so special to me
lotti123 Jan 2015
Dear 2015

Goodbye 2014
I'm not gonna miss you not even for a second
Its been a lifetime in a year
Never worked so hard in my life
I won't lie there was a lot good times
I've never dated so many guys in my life
It amazes me how busy I have been
Helping Run a business and have my own job on the side
what a story I will tell someday
Share with my children
Had such crazy life
no one with the right mind would have done what I have done.
But our motto was to do what we gotta do to succeed in this life and to take care of our love ones.
That was our motivation and drive
So may 2015 be blessed and hope we make it to the end
May all our hard work pay off before we die and all else remains a lie
lotti123 Jan 2015
Don't you just hate the sound of ticking noise of the clock is all you can hear?
tick tock it wont stop
Eyes wide open because your mind is thinking of all the things you need to do.
Have to do.
Haven't done nothing at all about it.
Things I wish I was doing but ain't because of obligations that have me chain down to the ground.
I work everyday
from one job to another
A lot sleepless days
And hopeless nights
Hoping one day hard work will pay off
Sacrifice never is harder than when your going through it
Living to one day pay it back to the people who mean the most to me
A lot of broke days
and people burning your ears up with complaints
that leave you feeling helpless
Some days it feels like it ain't worth it
and some days it feels maybe we going to make it
Or make the biggest mistake of our loves
Tired of being tired
I just wanna be happy
What does that even look like anymore??
Wanna love what I do
and do what I love
My own selfish crime wishing
I had more time
My poetry is how I pass time and free my mind
Going thru too many emotions
Have to file in the back of my mind
under overwhelmed and stressed
but trying to remember I am blessed
I have more than most
Keep on working till I can't work no more
I am fortunate beyond words I have to be unbreakable even if I feel like breaking down
lotti123 Jan 2015
I want to be free
Do the first thing that comes to my mind.
Wake up late and do nothing at all sounds so good to me.
Watch my brother grow up and see my other sisters in the bay like everyday.
I want to drive away and never come back.
Hate the demands of my job it ain't a question its a infinite list of things to do.
I want quit and start again.
And start something new
Live on my own.
Do my own thing
Change my name by
Marrying the perfect stranger.
Have kids and love em with every ounce of  me
I just want to be happy
Own every moment of my life
lotti123 Dec 2014
My flesh is weak
My will is gone
My wants are confused
My freedom is compromised
My body is tired
My mind is stressed
But something in me hasn't given up
And I know its because of you
You never gave up on me so I got to keep trying
Hopefully true happiness is around the corner somewhere
lotti123 Dec 2014
People may call me beautiful
they might say it matches my personality but does not  make me feel any better about myself??
Nope not at all
Makes me feel good for about a minute

Even when a hot guy wants to step to me
I instantly go quiet
My mind goes blank
Forgetting what's my name
And automatically all my insecurities tap in
And think he couldn't possibly be looking at me
I'm no super model
Or anything close to a size 2
Or anything special for him to take a second look

Plus being Plus Size doesn't help anything
When I'm always being reminded
That I'm just not good enough
and  if I was a little bit taller maybe even  a little bit smaller
Like that would solve all my problems

I know I have the capabilities to put on a beauty show
but I don't
I just wear baggy clothes
and wait to surprise people
I actually know how to dress to impress
its a talent I even surprise myself
sometimes
What they say is true your your own worst critic
That's why I say I'm the Queen of my own insecurities
lotti123 Dec 2014
Started with innocent lies that protected my *** from overproductive parents

Now I'm a bit ridiculous lies fall out of my mouth left and right

Sad part as long as I have been lying
You wld think I wld be good at it by now
But that's far from the truth

Always caught up with my lies no matter how big or how small for some reason the truth finds its way around

Wish I could stop ...wish I knew how ...what's the medicine? to cure my disease of addiction to lying

You might just think...girl just stop lying...easy for you to say but you don't understand I've been lying for so long that the truth and lies all sound the same to me

Habitual liar is what I am...I'm not ashamed to say I'm expressing hoping this will help me except it.move on.and change
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