A crisp white sheet of
Pristine perfection.
An awakened spring leaf
Unfurls in the crook
Of my arm.

Your new life.

My eye is mirrored
In your liquid pupil
As I stare

Mesmerized

Into a deep pool
Of ancient memory.


© Marcus Lane 2009

I've got a thousand little stabs on my back honey,

and they're all from you dear.

Biting, stabbing, gnawing, clawing me down to the ground

till I go crazy.

I hear the music in my mind I listen  carefully
i hear the most beautiful words come from a beautiful
voice of in the distance.IM not sure where they
are coming from ,I look everywhere ,then I
find a tree and i sit ,I hear it again ,then as I just
relax I come to realize its me ,I am the one singing
I am the one with the beautiful voice ,Im singing to
my mom whom is up in heaven.
THE music is from the angels to help me
sing my song ,IM singing to her because I miss her so,
I  sing to remember her ,wishing I could just hold her
just one more time ,to tell her  I love her .

A silhouette leaned back
Grey smoke distorted features demure;
Swirls riddled—smooth jazz syncopation
Her rouge lips cut through
The darkness.
She took a long drag on her
Cigarette, smoke rings evaporated
A halo around her.
Midnight blue eyes surveyed
The Bijou Café
Carpet pooled on the floor,
Blood soaked with wine,
Enclosed by onyx sheets,
The far wall a mirror.
A reflection of the souled and soulless.
Bar welcome strangers, friends,
The lonely.
Sharing drinks and memories
Vines intertwined customers
A perchance meeting;
Rendezvous of sorts.
Nameless faces and acquaintances
Dotted the room, a familiar skyline.

Lonely tower missing.
Smooth black fedora
Hearts sank ships as
Waves of embarrassment
Enveloped her; disappointment.
Crestfallen her eyes downtrodden
Soared with a door creak.
Black fedora entered,
Smooth—slick as oil

Eyes were hidden beneath
A veil of night;
Silence became him.
Hush fell on the crowd
As the shadow took the stage
Light pierced through,
Illuminating him.
Orbs locked
Reservation started to pass,

Voice velvet smooth
Played every heartstring
Notes of excitement
Tantalized her veins,

Pulse quickened;
Echoing every tempo change.
Music coursed through her being
Sensual; seductive
Notes caressed curves, valleys
Spaces in between.
Emotion—chord dependent
Voice penetrated skin
Music flowed through her.
A mountain peek high
Mind clouded—
Breath escaped her lungs.
Quiet murmur answered her comedown
An empty stage; stalwart eyes
Fingers replaced music
Lips brushed hers; taste—electric
Smile turned smirk; hollow presence
Musky cologne in wake.
Magnetic pull forward
Fedora exited
Midnight eyes transformed to dawn;
Abandoned beneath the awning
Familiar skyline flowed liquid.
Bijou Café
Neon sign loomed dark
Save for a letter
I illuminated.
Heart tendrils retreated,
Back to roots; betrayed
Tears turned to water
Liquid guilt—love died.

Fingers loosed
Memory;
Small matchbook of shame
Lingering of once upon a time
In the gutter; pouring rain.

On a Night Like Tonight
When the body grows too weary
to hold up the emotional walls
the demons attack
memories best laid to rest
awaken with a vengeance
sent to destroy my soul

The past I cannot escape
yet I have closed myself off
I will not share this burden
the fear of reject is far too great
the fear of letting someone in
to help me heal, to help me grow
is not enough
to open the door
that leads to the darkest room
no light shines in
the blackest of blacks
a tiny piece of my soul
charred
the flame can not be reversed
the fire that consumed me
burning me alive
the unnatural need
fed by the wolves
raised by the bears

i see the moon rising
it brings out the worst in me
dawn will not break
in my apocalypse

the storm clouds gather
to weak to stop it coming
my walls have fallen
and tonight
begins again
with the all or nothing fight

haunting
hunting
killing the happiness that grows
the lies so deep
they becomes truths
for the truths are too obscene
too far from reality
they are not truths
for truths are told
they are secrets
locked deep down inside
the kind that follow
always in the shadows
we take them to the grave
which is always too shallow

and those we let in
are the trust few
the trusted one
years of refusal
to finally let it out
the weight was lessened
if only for a time
for now he is gone
and my secret remains
my deepest battle scar
that brings out my worst
the world full of hurt
as the demons take control

I should have know better
but in youth
what do we really know
a trust so deep
the lies never showed
a wrong painted as right
a tiny soul was tainted
a tiny heart was broken
as a different side emerges
the trauma never fades
even in time
it lurks under the surface
waiting
for a night like tonight

Heat slips up our shirts, sweaty beads of ***.
We twist our clothes, grabbing at flesh, groping for ***.

The hard squeeze and pressure is scooping out the soul—
Please, push it out, we want to be left bare and have ***.

Our skin is strung together, our bodies hollowed, dry;
Blind to the heat and the mess, we’re swept up by a blissful, empty ***.

The sheets, salted with sweat, are heaved off the bed,
Pillows gone, clothing gone, here there is nothing but ***.

Gasping and shouting, we purge ourselves, we are nothing—
I am pure and vacant, I’ve rushed my blood to my groin for ***.

And moments like these are strained and stretched.
Then, release, the moment falls from us as wet as ***.

Like sheets, pillows, clothes, the rest of me returns:
Too tired to move, I listen to our breathing, short huffs in the air after ***.

i remember you, little earthquake
and all those dark nights trembling together
that was my favorite season.
you and i, we handled each other like
porcelain and that made things awkward most of the time.
but -- thrillingly so.
you first showed me the right way to gather a girl's curves against my own
so that they lined up right and smooth
and how feminine vertebrae just feel so much silkier and
more pleasant under the fingertips.
i wish i could open my eyes one more time to your
head under my ear and your lips (the prettiest lips)
relishing the weight
of my name on them: "lady."
hey, about that time i touched you --
sorry for startling you.
and sorry for backing down so easily.
i wish we could have shown each other
even more of what it means to
feel girls and to
feel like a girl, finally a real girl.