You lack the conviction you seek,
to be, you will have to search deep,
remember the train is passing you by,
once gone it will never retreat.            
The melody was already played yet
the track list shows no sign of an end.  
Up beat, relaxing, dramatic or smooth
each one will interpret it as they can.                                                      
Your difference is not what is different,
unless you make it yell odd, don't hammer
your brain with thoughts of disdain you're
as ordinary as peas in a pod.                        
You will gain, you will lose, a gain you
deserve a lost that's been bruise.  
Despite of the outcome that you may
endure, remember to never lose you.

Forever is ephemeral, tricking our mind that joy will never effaced, fooling our thoughts with unsaid promises. You should begin to live the now. Life has stood still for you to come and reach it, but I'm afraid it's starting to give its first steps. Your fear restrains you from the fiction of the always and the possibility of the now.  Afraid of being afraid, frighten of never BEING, of being too much, too little, too open, too shy, too loud. Too many things concerned you and nothing worries you at the same time. While they're boarding the plane, you're unsure to buy the ticket. Those fools may be holding onto a superficial idea but at least they're grabbing something, what can you say you're clinging to? The only eternal concept you cherish is the one of cowardice. When will the stream of feelings running through your veins matter over the importance dedicated to those who can't relate to you? A forever may be childish but a never translates unhappiness.

I just want to say what I *******
mean and feel what I ******* say,
no filters or metaphors no words
in disguise. I just want to *******,
whoever you may be.

I have to be the right words, not offensive nor too liberal.
I have to be the right filter, scanning everything that
I say and purifying all that I hear. I have to be the right pace,
following the rhythm of the world and forgetting I know how
to walk. I have to be the right mood, letting my emotions creep
through the cracks but not fully exposing them to the light.
To be the right chair and sit instead of stand. The rain to
calm the heat, the sun to warm the cold, the moon to shine
at night, the stars to guide you through. I'm supposed to be
so many things, I lost my way to being who I am.

What if my right was your wrong and
your wrong was my right? If we play pretend
words lost their meaning and these sentences
never began. What if you try to listen to my eyes
and feel what I shout, where making sense of my
life it's a comma where you stop move along but
without any doubt.  What if I take your happiness
and live it as my own, I know I've read this essay
but the pages keep going on. If you could realize
that I create my joy, the questions in your book
won't be handle like a toy. What if the lines you
write are backwards because that's all you know
yet one day you're forbidden to express your feelings
and thoughts. If you can't understand why you're
trying to be retrained, why can you tell me to be a
pencil when I've always been a pen?

I yearn for the one I've never met .
I miss you without having seen your face.
I long for your voice, which my ears have
never heard. All I see are stares but I can't see
your eyes. Your smell is my favorite scent,
one I wish I could recall. You're a petal and
Christmas in may. A song I listen to but that
hasn't been written. You are a walk by the
beach which pavement is being built.

I need to grow up, I need to grow up, I need to grow up!
Everyone tells me so and I refuse to listen. I want to grow up,
I want to grow up, I want to grow up! They all do it so smoothly
but I don't know how. I have to grow up, I have to grow up,
I have to grow up! My life and I live in this parallelism, watching
each other run at a different pace. I have to need to want!
Crying old sorrows, watching antique chains, doesn't work anymore.
The have is to break free, the need to for my sanity, the want is to
finally be the grown up I desire.