My mind is a prison cell
And I can't find the key
A little quiet cell
With frantic writing on the walls
The ink so thick that
It helps support the crumbling walls
I'm waiting for the implosion
These walls and ceilings
Tumbling down on me
Will it crush me to death,
Or finally set me free?

The world doesn't revolve around you,
And neither will I
I have a chance here
And I'm taking it
Moving into the world
Making my own way
Starting today
As I fill out a form for a small apartment
I think of what I'll be losing
But also, what I'm getting
I think it's a fair trade
And I can't wait

You've broken me
Are you happy now?
Made me want to die
As I sit here and cry
All because of you
Pushing me around like you do
I honestly want to **** you
See your blood flow red
Because of the stuff you said
How ******* dare you
Telling me that it was my fault
That your boyfriend used me
And that you abuse me
How dare you
Say half the things you say
I will hate you till the very day
That I decide I'm done with this life

If you don't question it
How can you believe it?

I play my emotions down to you
And tell you that I'm fine
I tell myself I don't need you
That I'm ok with being friends
But in truth it is quiet clear
The fact I'm writing for you, dear
Is proof that I do care
But I'll never let you know
I'll never let it show
Because I don't want to let you in
No, not quite yet

Little girl. Four years old.
Pretty dresses. Dry those tears
Time for pictures
Mommys little doll.
Pretty little doll
Gets attention now
Soak it up while you can
Looks are all that matter
In the "flashing room"
Sit still while I do your hair
Make up too
Don't you dare move

•••

Little girl. Five years old
Get down from that tree
Good girls don't get *****
No, don't play in the mud
**** you
go to your room

•••

Little girl, nine years old
Here's your cell phone,
Mommy won't be home today
Make sure your sister does her homework
And clean up from dinner
I made up bottles for your brother
Don't stay up too late

•••

Little girl, eleven years old
Too pretty for your own good
I'm your moms friend,
Trust me
It won't hurt,
Stay still
Be a good girl
Take those clothes off for me

•••

Little girl, twelve years old
You hold it like this
Now inhale,
Let the smoke fill your lungs
Hold it for a minute
Exhale
Doesn't that feel good?
Here, have a drink

Oh, so you're engaged now?
To him I suppose.
Weddings in two weeks
I guess I'll be there.
Sure I'll wear a dress.
But it will be black.
We have all told you
To do what best for you
And we meant leave him.
I'll wear this same dress
To your funeral