'It takes two to Tango', they said.
We both made our faults. But not as severe as yours.
You tell me that you loved someone else then me.
You tell me that I loved "the you who pretended that you were all 'that'" and this is the real 'YOU'. The YOU who's always been an *** to people, had ***** desires and 'not following the rules', etc.
I still find it ******* that this is 'real you'.
Now look at where you are now:
jobless, because it's too much work and you don't want stress,
living in an apartment with a few friends who are as almost as equal as you, even relatives,
indecisive like a girl, which turns out you wish you were,
you seek for 'your kind of love' when it's your lust,
a cheater and a liar,
the list can go on and on.
And you call that FREEDOM?

I recently found a job, a job that I adore,
I've been as honest as I can,
not as much judgmental than before, then again the whole world is FULL of judgement and opinions. Just learn how to carry on, instead of being a little ***** about it.
I've been fixing **** up in my family, it's doing average so far,
didn't bother to have any other relationships, no point when your hearts-empty-cold.

But the funny thing is in the end,
we can't live without each other.
YOU can't live without HATING me through a screen, and MOCKING me severely. Which makes me wonder that if you truly loved me at one point, in order to have this hatred. They say "Love and Hate is on the same Tip of a Blade". You also look at other girls, seeking for some sort of attention or affection, still drowning in your illusions of delusions, yet I've always been here for you, to give you all off that.

And I can't live without knowing that your doing alright, and missing the
old you.

As I thought I was doing just fine. Carrying on my life. Finally been able to forget and move on from you.
NO.
I tripped and have fallen backwards into the memories of YOU, as soon as my beloved friend asked me when we were on Mount Royal together for the first time; "Did HE ever brought you here?"
"No. I don't think we ever been here together." I replied.
At that moment, I had flashbacks of the other places we've been together. Which was a handful. But surprisingly, not on that mountain. As I fallen into the banks of memory lane, I poured out how much I missed YOU to my beloved friend. (In tears)
YOUR caresses, kisses, cares, jokes, kindness....
but most of all YOUR  embrasses that made me fall in LOVE with YOU and made me adore hugs and hugging people! Also brought life to my heart! Now I can barely do proper hugs and get **** for not doing it right; and my heart is dead-cold.
And lastly YOUR smiles! OH GAWD HOW I'D **** TO SEE YOUR AMAZING SMILES THAT MELTS MY HEART! I ADORE IT!
Looking back on it brings me happy tears.
And yet, heartaches.
________________­___
Just recently, the other morning(out of the blue). I have fallen backwards again.
With a little sweet, lovely, warm, comfortable dream of you.
After playing games with friends while sitting on the mattress on the floor; I turned around and saw YOU.
YOU were lying down-let's say on the couch- and YOU were smiling at me. It was the smile and look that you still loved me. The welcoming smile that I adored. It was the old  YOU. The one before the stupid, ugly tattoos and you hair was abit long. It felt like as if we picked-up were we left of from our lovely part of the relationship.
So crawled up to YOU, had my face close to yours, that our noses were touching.  I grabbed you hand, kissed it and placed it on my right cheek. I missed YOUR  touch. Then we shared kisses like we use too.
Then that dream took off a little bit to the offside.
We left to meet up with someone to buy a new apartment place. Turns out it was my group who were finding themselves and I a place to stay in. Before I carried on with the search of the building, YOU slowly walked away and gave me a look "Are you going to join me or stay here?"
I looked away and gave off a "Staying". I haven't seen you since then. In that dream, it felt like I just had to stay....Sorry dream you
In the end turns out my group and I were runaways from a crime. Then the following few days, them and I had plane tickets to leave the country.

But I wondered if THAT crime was to be with YOU again?
If so, it'd still be worth it.

In the end, I still manage to get up and move forward. Here and there. I  still think of YOU.
In reality, YOU'RE the one who's FALLEN HARD! Deep into the rivers of false pleasures and desires.
.................................YOU Idiot. -.-'