although sometimes I would rather forget
because it makes it easier to feel sorry for myself
but i am loved
in more ways than one

when my mother is being cruel
and my sister is joining in
my brother's girlfriend offers me her arm
and my oldest brother buys me my favorite foods
even my fair weathered friend calls
and my online friends tell me i don't deserve this
but that i am strong enough to persevere
and my boyfriend speaks with the same fluidity that i do, and sits in silence with me when that is all i need

and it makes me cry
tears light as mist
because i am so loved
and sometimes i cannot see it

I didn't mean to look at you like that.
I didn't think of you much prior.

But you made your way in my head
And you didn't even try.

The words came so easily for me
I've always had a problem with that,
But not with you.

you were so effortlessly funny
I laughed every **** class

I had been looking for a tall boy with blue eyes and a dark personality
Instead I found a medium height boy with amber eyes who had no idea what he was doing in the best way

I didn't know I was gone
I think you knew before I did

I thought about you after our hands grazed
How corny is that?
I don't really care.

I had a dream about you next. I didn't know what to think.
I told my best friend.
She smiled.

i knew I was gone
when we couldn't contain ourselves
Your hands outstretched to mine playfully
And our smiles just couldn't be hidden

I didn't even have to try to make you like me too
And I think that's the best thing about it

Is this what all those other couples feel like?
I doubt it.
I've been waiting and I've been picky and I was convinced I didn't need anyone
And I still don't need anyone
But I want someone
I want you.

I think it's quite cute
When I mention the future
And you elaborate on it
And mention me somewhere in what lies ahead for you
And it makes me smile
To think that you don't want to imagine life without me

If you want your children to love and respect you
do not belittle them.
Do not dismiss their problems because you think them small;
They are vaster than the sky in your child's eyes.

If you want your children to love and respect you
do not tell them they are worthless; they will spend half their lives believing it anyway
do not speak over them.
do not only wait for them to be done complaining, but listen.

If you want your children to love and respect you
Do not take your anger out on them
If you're parenting correctly, they will never mean to hurt you
accidents do happen.

If you want your children to love and respect you
above all, do not hit them.
The wild look in your eyes will haunt them
they will cower in fear when someone raises a hand to them.

If you want your children to love and respect you
love and respect them.

January
I told myself this was the year
My heart was sore and my thoughts were heavy
I kept to myself and hated being bothered
I didn't like living too much

February
I admitted I was my own problem
But I sat
And I waited
For my world to change for me.

March
Feeling unbelievably numb to life
And watching time go by in flashes.
I learned to observe and I learned that writing soothed anxiety quite well

April
I didn't write.
I don't remember what I did.
It must have been dull.

May
I dreamed about escaping my personal confinements.
However, I didn't.

June
I loved the sun.
I got a job.
I felt indifferent.

July
Possibly the peak of my self hatred
I let their words get to me
I tried throwing up. I failed.
I spotted a boy at work.

August
I turned 17
And knew I needed to change.
I created courage on a not so special day
I forced myself to talk to the boy.
And I felt ******* powerful.

September
Junior year began
I did things I loved and
Quit things I didn't

October
I slowly realized
That if I loved myself
The world will too

November
Boys lined at my door
But I never cared for them
I cared only for myself
And I loved every second of everyday

And now it's December
And I've learned that I don't need a new year, new month, or even a new day to start over
I am not bound by any measurement of time
And if I want to change
I have the power to.

It is a weak person to be brutal
And it is a brave person to be gentle

Don't worry about changing the world, you already have by existing in it.