she didn't really like to talk all that much,
she didn't like to do anything anymore
honestly
she doesn't really see herself as "living"
just floating in place like a ghost stuck at home
when she walks home, she makes sure to walk close to the street, just in case god heard her today
and maybe, just maybe, he'll finally listen
so yeah, she's not living, or she doesn't WANT to be living anyway,
and i'm okay with that,
because it's what she wants.

my lips are chapped;
when i smile, there's pain
but it doesn't really stop me
it only makes me smile harder

my friends went out without me again;
maybe i'm just not that fun anymore
i wouldn't want to hang out with a sleep deprived maniac either

my head hurts;
there's a sharp thumping at the center of my forehead
if i close my eyes and think hard enough
i can imagine that it's just my brain knocking at my door
trying to wake me up
knocking, knocking, knocking

there's a skeleton in my closet; it looks a lot like you.
it talks to me sometimes.
about the weather, the economy, the pain i put it through.
at night, if i strain my ears just right, i can hear it crying, just like you used to.
i really miss you.
i miss how you used to say stupid things like "i love you" and "do you like sugar in your tea?"
now all i hear is screaming.
things like "i thought you loved me"
and
"help"
"help"
"help"

i woke up with the word "fake" written on my hand
i don't know who put it there but i think it was me
i cry myself to sleep so frequently i get sad when i don't
there was a dog outside today
it was running with such energy i was tempted to do the same
but i knew i would only make myself tired
i'm always tired lately
my grandpa used to call me his "pool shark"
i haven't played pool in two years