I.
It was peppermint,
snowflake blonde hair spilling into gold
the foxlike amber of my skin
against her phosphorescent white.
She made me seasick with her bird-blue eyes
and stuck like cotton candy to my fingers.

II.
Her name was Phoenix,
and she scared me with her firecracker will.
It made my lungs into waterfalls
my thoughts and fingers, butterflies.
My carbon-copy hair carnelian red
a solar flare, an Icarus, an imitation star.

III.
We were virgins,
and volcanoes. Sharing milkbox wishes
on rooftops and climbing trees like horses
instead of tiger-mouthed boys.
We swallowed the citrus-colored summer
like gingerbread and lemonade.

I don't think I'd be happy to die
But I'm too sad to live

The scariest thing about being depressed,
Is thinking if someone knows the truth they won't accept you anymore.
Who wants to be with the girl who has cut herself?
Who wants to feel responsible for you when your mood changes constantly?
It's not like I chose to be this way,
So happy one second,
In tears the next.
It's not like I want to be that girl with the scars on her wrist,
The one who can't take criticism,
I hate myself enough you don't need to do it for me.
I guess I am just waiting for the day,
Someone loves me for who I am enough,
To see past the tears and scars,
And take my misery away.

her fingers and toes
always so cold
but her heart so warm
though she could make yours torn
her words were always so distinct
connecting you to her by an unbreakable link
she was one who didn't have to do much
just smile and leave a simple touch
she always could wrap you in,
and make you think leaving her would be a sin
you could tell her anything at all
and she wouldn't dare tell a soul
though herself--she would never crack
her secrets were what you would lack
just by looking, you would know
her mind wandered places, from high to low
too much for anyone to guess
she knew of everything (more or less)
and all those notions messed up her mind
too many parts of her, hard to all bind
and this was why she knew she could never feel,
love, she thought, would never be real

have you ever set foot on thin ice?
heard the shattering sound of your only support
giving out from underneath you?
i have

how did you feel when you first plunged into that ice cold water?
were you pierced by sharp daggers
ripping through you?
i was.

did it happen to you again and again?
each time hoping the results would differ
hoping your heart wouldn't be torn out again?
i did.

did you get over everything that happened?
did you forget each dagger
that pierced your heart?
i won't.