Sometimes I sit blankly staring for hours.
Sometimes I sit and doodle for ages.
Sometimes I sit and let my day dreams take me.
Always I sit.

A 105 pound blob of potential energy.
Anxious to move yet not a reason to.
Minutes turn to hours which turn to days...
I forgot to eat again..

Watching your self age is the real 'reality TV show'.
I've cut off my connections egger to be my own.
But now I'm paranoid and can not get close.
I watch myself wither away in the smoke.

I stumble with words and never look them in the eyes.
I'm quiet and awkward and timed and shy.
I used to have confidence in the future.
But now, only questions and fears.

A perpetual debt hangs over my ears

From social-butterfly
To anti-social,
That’s what happens
When you get cut off

It seems I have forgotten how to make friends.
Or perhaps I'm too afraid to.
Once the life of the party.
Now the one never there.

This journey to be my own
Will be long and slow
Unless I get up and get on the go
Yet my fears are like shackles
And my debts are glue
They keep me sitting

Always I sit