"How can someone love you
If you don't love yourself?"
The words of therapists trying to help
Won't go away

They're right
I'd been thinking about it all wrong the whole time
There's
         Nothing
                     To love*
They didn't want me to be happy
They just wanted to put me out of my misery

That last piece of cake
The one that everyone wants
You could have gotten a piece before it was all gone
But you waited until the last second
And then it vanished

They all wanted that piece
They wanted to save it
But someone rudely took it away
Just like that

Then, a new cake was made
Fresh with perfection
And that last piece of cake was forgotten

*Just like I was

I close my door
Reach for my blade
And begin the routine motions
That now feel meaningless
Like my black and white past

I still look for silly reasons
Any excuse
To justify my actions

Just to get a quick feeling
Of anything at all
Even if that means it will hurt
Because if I'm numb for much longer
I might just...

Just smile and say
"No really, I am ok"
Underneath, you cry

Why do I always fall in love
With the one who is taken
Or who hates me
Or who doesn't even know I exist?

Love is a puzzle, that I have yet to figure out.