A first love is always special,
and always smiled upon and praised.
Its viewed as a sign of maturity to some,
but others see it as false if one is "too young."

When you have your first love,
its supposed to be special,
the best feeling in the world,
...right?
Maybe yes...
but maybe no?

Suppose that's how it should be,
what happens if it's actually the worst feeling?
And rather than happiness,
you only feel pain and sorrow?

Its in the nature of your heart and your mind to be
at odds with one another,
so its only natural for your rationale and logic to lose
out to your emotions, isn't it?

You love them,
but they can never be yours.
You know this, freely admit it,
but that doesn't change anything.
You can't ignore it,
because it hurts.

A thought of them can make you smile,
you feel like a silly teenage girl,
and maybe you are, but that's alright,
because you've never experienced this,
its literally a whole new world.

Its all so new,
so what can you do to cope?
How does one handle such a
frighteningly strong emotion?

Nobody can help,
they can only provide a source of comfort.
You hate that you love this person,
and you hate them for making you love them,
for capturing your feelings so completely,
and yet you don't truly hate them.

And just when you think things are the worst,
they smile and your world becomes perfect again.
You feel a million times stronger,
just so long as they're happy.
Such are the woes,
of the First Love...

I've said it before,
and one can see it by simply looking.
We're all different and unique,
but we're still the same, living, breathing humans,
and we all feel.

It is clear to me that you don't realize,
how your words affect those around you.
You make it difficult for them to express themselves,
to be who they are.

Put yourself in their shoes,
if only for day.
Suppress your self-expression,
don't be who you are.
Can you do it?
Do you like it?
But no, that doesn't matter to you.
You're so dense,
don't see how your words anger others.

I doubt it would make a difference.

Open your eyes and look at the world,
do you see what I see?
A world full of people just like us,
Just like you.

Feel that aching chest,
apathy and sorrow?
You want to cry,
but the tears won't come.
I know.

Do you ask yourself "Why?"
"Why, heart, do you ache so much?"
You know that its probably true,
that you may be depressed,
but you ignore it.
You push through it,
confide in one close friend,
and hide from the rest.
But still, I know.

You put on a face,
act happy and like nothing is wrong.
But inside you're burning,
decaying from the strength it takes.

You feel you can't go on anymore,
like you just want it to end.
You don't want to end your life,
no, that's not it,
you just want life to fast forward
to when things will look up.

You feel loneliness,
unloved and unwanted.
Undesirable.
Its not the truth though.
You feel that there's no place for you in this world,
at least not where you are now.
Not like this, not here.

You yearn to be free,
you whisper, "Rescue me."
But nobody comes.
Nobody will.

But I know you can make it,
because you're stronger than you think.

My heart, why are you aching?
Why are you hurting me this way?
I feel depressed, can you tell me why?
Do you even know?
I think you do,
but neither of us can make it right.

I want to cry,
and you're telling me I should,
but my eyes, our eyes, won't listen,
they won't make the tears come.
Why, eyes, won't you let the tears come?
Why, heart, do you keep aching?
My chest, it hurts so much, makes me hate you,
my heart.
It makes me want you gone.

And the tears still won't come...