you had no idea
and you have no idea
how strange it is to be
so close but so far and so in-between but so
lost in my mind, in my worries, I’m
falling but standing and swimming around
and around on the ground, in the sky, I’m
tasting tears on my lips and cringing at this feeling in
my chest in my head in my thought there’s a memory that
won’t leave me alone a ghost it haunts and I wonder
if you’re haunted too by that one time we sat there in darkness
gliding and thinking so much I didn’t pay attention to what was around
and around my head spins to that one time we ignored each
other like strangers with matching worlds inside of us
begging to come out but wrestling to stay inside the building of
music and feelings we might never have and it spins to the times
we were faceless and deep in thought in our own homes together
but apart and I couldn’t look at you because I might fall backwards
or forwards and I still don’t know what I was so afraid of it’s too late
my head spins and spins in the ballroom and I can’t fall asleep
so close but so far and so in-between
and you still have no idea

the weight of the wooden beams overlaid with countless
harrowing splinters
carried on your stainless sturdy back while
you held me there so softly
secure in your hands, even though you knew;
you knew I drove those splinters into your
back to begin with, and continued,
buried them deeper into your skin, you
carried me forward into the day that
I shudder when I remember the way I used to
wound you gladly, without a stain of sorrow
even still turning back now and then to
note what I had done, for shame
the wrath I deserve, you took
you took it all the more gladly, for me
living the life I could not, dying the death I deserve
and you love me still, you love me still

attempting to breathe amidst these whispering flowers
paint them on the indoor walls, dandelions and daisies
before they're blown away by this whirlwind tornado
approaching faster and faster, day by day, hour by hour
trying not to let these flowers tremble in the
prelude of breezes howling past, as they
infiltrate, without and within

days like these are nearing the end of the
candy in the jar don't spill it make it fall to
the floor as cold and still as the clouds
casting shadows on the earth like
curtains wrinkled above your bed
that day we laughed at everything
colors as bright as the yesterdays of us
needing prospect for the colors of tomorrow
the curtains will be drawn soon
let the sun dance on the floor where the
candy should never have fallen
could never have fallen if yesterday
had never ended to turn to today
dusty blues and pasty yellows are
everywhere but I remember the
***** greens and static reds of yesterday
and I'm trying to imagine the
radiant oranges and light pinks of tomorrow
don't draw the curtains, let the sun dance