The thought of flying alone makes me
Stick my hands in my front pockets
For hours.

Ticket; check.
Luggage; check.
Headphones to block the voices
Of strangers, I do not want
To know where you are going
Or what you are leaving.
I do not want to know how much more
Poignant your sorrow,
Your excitement.

I ride sound waves.

I ride the beats of
People I will never meet and
Forget those I have left behind forget
In a few short hours I will
Cry into my father’s arms I will
See the one face that makes
Me
Palms up and empty
Ready to touch railings again.

There are days now
I don't think about it.

There are moments,
in the dark I
clutch my chest to keep
my heart intact.

There are moments,
in the dark my smile
breaks all lines
of my face and I.




I remember what we whispered.

A deep inhale, caught
across the dip between your
shoulder blades.

I am only the small space between my fingers,
the inconsequential rifts that disappear when your hand
slides into mine.

You are only the soft shallow sound of
footsteps coming up the stairs
so I know
I am no longer alone, here.

Short nights.
We toured the sands of lake Erie.
Wet feet,
The flashlight beam breaking on rocks and waves and empty beer cans.
You laughed at me and we talked about finding a bear or
Maybe, in a few years, living together.

There was heat.
I was swinging and the trees were touching my feet,
Bending boughs before us and the cops came
So we piled in your car and you
Were called to “drive faster.”
Speeding up to catch the sharp exhale I
Let spread across your neck,
Trickling slowly off your collarbone.

We brought a camera.
And, negatives spoke volumes when we reviewed our faces;
You were looking at your feet and my
Eyes were on your lips.

And I was angry.
You should have come.
Given my mom a face to attach a name to.

We could have held hands in the car.

I kept rambling to keep you talking,
So afraid of pauses, so
Sure you were leaving.
I wouldn’t have stopped you

But.

My chest was filled with black holes and
My breath was heavy and your hands were
Heavy and your eyes were
Somehow not blue but still full of the sky.

I wore it like a bruise the next day.

Without being pretentious, I just
wanna sound a little like myself again, somedays.

Shoot the ****.

We were the type to touch records just for the feel,
You were the type to throw darts on Thursday nights.

I jumped fences to impress you,
I wore my hair down and
drank your favorite beer.

Took my clothes off a little too often.

I looked at maps and you laughed but I
thought we would be an adventure.

I thought it was worth the lightyears,
Parsecs.