I'm told to hate you
I'm told to love
I wish the feelings I felt are my own
I wish I was there with you
I wish I've never ignored
I wish I didn't treat you like ****
I wish I could love you without it being a problem
I want to be nonexistent
I want to be apart of you
I want to be with you
I want all this to not exist

and as she looked at the moon
it made her feel small
so small it sickened her
it made it hard for her to breath
as if the weight of the entire moon rest upon her shoulders
and she realized
she felt the same towards her mother
the women who birthed her
the women that was supposed to comfort her
made her feel small and unimportant
made her feel that her very existence didn't matter
but now she knows
if only she could do something about it.