Knock on  my door,
when the wardens not here.

I swear I'd let you in,
let you turn me inside out. .

I swear we could do anything,
but right now you're nowhere.

Knock on my door,
before the warden gets here.

I just wanted to grab you by the shoulders...
shake you?kiss you?

Hell, I don't know.

All I know for sure,
is that you were standing there,
in your pajama's saying goodnight instead of staying
and I just want to do *something

Every time that dam song
comes on, I'm back in the car
with you.

We're driving, and driving,
because you've just turned 18,
and you can stay out past midnight.

We get hot chocolates from McDonalds,
and my legs tucked under me,
my high heels from dinner kicked off.

It's November, and we're just kids
playing at being adults, in your borrowed
Honda and our cocktail dresses.

Remember this, someone says from
the backseat, every time you hear this song,
but she doesn't know I will.

I can remember that night so clearly,
so well, but the irony is, I can't really
remember you at all.

Hardback books, with spines that crack.
Something to hold on to.

New socks fresh from packaging,
that make the carpet feel like cloud.

Laughing by myself,
or with you.

Weak coffee that tastes like water,
but brings me to life.

Umbrellas because you never know,
you might need one.

Clean sheets against bare legs,
and damp hair on the pillowcase.

Mason jars with lemonade,
and headaches.

I write because it's easier to let
my imagination out on a screen,
then from my mouth.
I write because I can't tell you,
to your face.
I write because I know it isn't
right, to keep these things inside.
I write because strangers will see,
but you'll never read my poems.

She called me Easter Sunday, right before mass.
I took the call in the dorm hallway, half listening.

Say an extra prayer, she told me,
I'm gonna be a parent.

Little one, I'll always remember how it felt,
when your mommy told me about you.

I love you already.

Sometimes I find myself  wishing
my cell phone wasn't my alarm clock,
and that I didn't have a class
in the morning.
That the screen go black for a few,
uninterrupted, hours and
have the peace of mind that being
away from you would give me.