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Lizabeth Mar 2013
Lean a little closer now,
that’s it. Just so that our faces
are close enough that I can see
your eyelashes. Orange.

The table’s small, we’re barely
in the booth. Together at the end,
one on either side, long legs
stretch into the empty restaurant.

Our friend’s talk, and I lean in.  
You lean your head in too, to hear
the joke or story they’re telling. It’s
so familiar, but important somehow.  

Something’s said and we all laugh, normal routine.
You look at me, and I to you. Reactionary. Should we
—not anymore—yet still we do.

You’re wearing that gray shirt, the one that folds right
at the collarbone. I notice; I don’t mean to.
Your cheeks are white and smooth.

I’m wearing my blue jeans, the ones I that,
I know, are a bit too tight.
But I like that about them. I’d never admit it,
but I like the way they cling to me.

So lean in closer, I stay right there,
elbows perched, head turned. Long hair,
tucked behind my ears because
that’s how Mom made me wear it.

Comfortable, you touch my arm, but it’s measured out,
scaled down. You’re too careful now. Every word
a deliberate pace. It’s dangerous when two killers know,
the other’s preferred poison of taste.

But there are things you can’t control,
like when we’re sitting, at the booth’s end,
shoulder to shoulder, turned to our friends.

When we look, as look we always do,
I notice your seconds glance to my smile—
but it’s not my smile you’re looking to.

Saints have lips, and Holy Palmers too, I want to say,
but just for an instant, before I realize how
absurd it would be, quoting Shakespeare to you.

The check arrives and the bill is paid.
There’s no more time that glasses of water can buy.

The gang of us unfold from our little corner booth,
and out the door we go. Leaving behind us nothing
but crumpled napkins and  a salt shaker overturned.
Lizabeth Feb 2013
Are boys still mean, to girls they like?*
Or is that just a lie, that Mommy's and Daddy's tell,
when Tommy pulls your braid too hard, or Joey says you smell?
Lizabeth Feb 2013
( I )
This has got to stop,
this has got to end.

I can't go on holding my breath,
every time you walk past and
brush my hand.

Suffocating in an empty room.

It's got to stop, but oh Christ,
I'm the last person who will ask it to.

( II )
If You're Wondering
Yes.
I do still jump when
our knees, or socks,
touch.
Goes straight thru me
like a bolt of electric
shock.
And I like it very much.
Lizabeth Feb 2013
I really, really hate that I let you in.

That I let your gap-toothed smile,
with your cocky grin, become my favorite
after-school routine.

I really, really hate that I let you in.

That I let your long, thin, body
capture my attention, and imagination,
in the middle of the day--or night.

I really, really hate that I let you in.
Lizabeth Feb 2013
The cold metal in her hand,
felt fine.
Loud music, swaying bodies,
bright light in the cramped kitchen.
Just one, to calm the nerves.

Crack went the tab as she broke
the seal.
It tasted yellow, and she waited
for a shame that never came.
That's not so bad...

She brought the can to her lips again,
and saw his orange face.
He isn't here, she reminded herself
as the yellow washed away the face of her
orange man.
Lizabeth Feb 2013
( I )
I look at you, and I
imagine him between the sheets
in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep,
I close my eyes and feel
long, white, legs wrapped around me.

I don't know what it feels like to have
you pressed against my back
but every time our knees brush or hands touch I
imagine him between the sheets.

( II )
Grey shirt,
that doesn’t quite cover his side...
just a enough to catch your eye.

White skin,
the most you've seen of him...
draws your attention in.

Stop it,
you beg yourself as you look...
just once again.

Remind yourself,
that friends don’t  look, at friends
like this.

Brown leather,
fingers toy with his belt buckle...
you swallow.

— The End —