I ****** up, and I did it really badly
****** up good, although I love you madly
It was my own insecurities which drove me to it
I knew it was a bad idea, but I just didn’t give a ****
Sorry that I hurt you, left a path of destruction
I’d apologize again, but my brain is under construction
I know I ****** up, it was beyond my control
Wish I hadn’t ****** up because now I’m all alone

Should have known I would **** up, it’s been too long
My track record was clean, had to do something wrong
Don’t ask me why because I don’t have a reason
I tend to **** up everything, regardless of the season
I ****** it all up, no possibility of turning back now
I see the havoc I caused and looking back I don’t know how
I can’t tell you how bad I feel, you wouldn’t believe me
I ****** everything up, the way I always knew it would be

You probably knew I would **** up, I do it all the time
The potential was always there in the back of my mind
I held the **** up cards, and now they’ve all been played
And now I sit here useless, knowing why you wouldn’t stay
I’m not good at doing things the right way, just need to **** up
My once numb mind is burning, knowing that I cannot stop
Wish I could say it won’t happen again, that there was just no chance
But know I’m armed and waiting, to destroy the hope for romance

**** up this, and **** up that
****** it all up good
Never mind the pain or tears
Because I ****** up good
When I **** up it’s no surprise
It happens everyday
It would be nice to say that my
******* up has gone away

[Verse 1]
Baby, I’ve got a bad wander lust
Probably cuz I’m trying to get a head rush
The white ponies come to tie me down
But they don’t know I want them now
I’m covered in my own desire
And that reminder won’t make me cower
I’m hungry for the flash of white
For numbness in the cold of night

[Chorus]
Baby, it’s that wonder dust
Got me aching to get a head rush
I know they are coming to get me
Coming to get me, the ******* cavalry
I know pain comes when they are gone
I know it’s wrong, but it has been too long
I’ve got my arms spread open wide
For them to come and jump inside
They’re coming to get me
Coming to get me
The ******* Cavalry

[Verse 2]
I know what they want, and I can’t wait
Their bittersweet tang I long to taste
They will be here when I die
But at least I will be riding high
The cavalry won’t stop until
My nose is packed, my brain is filled
I can’t wait until that last day
When all the pain has gone away

[Verse 3]
I know you don’t see me like this
But it would be my dying wish
For my mind to fly upon white doves
And reach the place so far above
My face will never feel the pain
For the cavalry will have done its thing
They medicated all my soul
And now I’ll never feel the cold

STOP all the madness, STOP the insanity
STOP haunting my daytime, STOP haunting my dreams
LEAVE me in alone now; LEAVE me all in one piece
LEAVE me my spirit; LEAVE me a chance of relief
DON’T lie to me, DON’T think I won’t know
DON’T underestimate me, DON’T do anything but go
QUIT the mind changing, QUIT playing games
QUIT all your talking, QUIT while I’m still sane

I’ve made up my mind to forget you this time
I tell myself that now you have crossed the fine line
There’s no going back now, no chance for repair
If only my dreams recognized this despair

I cannot control who I see in my sleep
But somehow you know this is when I am weak
I drift off at night, feeling hopeful for all
Yet then you appear and my hope starts to fall

I try to be strong, and I try hard not to care
But in my dreams, you are always there
I am forced each night to gaze into your eyes
The eyes that I know will never be mine

I have tried everything from ***** to pills
But nothing removes you; you’re in my dreams still
I need to erase you, in all of your forms
I try to remember how badly I’ve been scorned

I’ve successfully deleted you from all of my days
If same held true at night, I wouldn’t feel this way
It’s subconscious taking hold of me and my true thoughts
It’s so nice to see you, but this really must stop

Look in the mirror
And what do you see?
A pale freckled girl
And yet this is me
A small button bent
And slightly crooked nose
That’s taken a few too many
Hard horse head blows

Look in my eyes
And what do you see?
Many painful trials
Of joy and travesty
A blue gray green array
Of colors surround
The darkest black pupil
With hazel flecks all around

Look at my soul
And what do you see?
I bet you’ll see something
You want me to be
You’ll search for kindness
You’ll think you see light
But you will see nothing
If you don’t look just right

Gravity pulls towards the sinking epicenter of failure
Any last glimpse of sunshine’s happy face has vanished
Nothing lends a hand, all around is the suction towards the end
An end which may offer any last chance for a feeling of relief
It won’t though, at the end will only be more longing, more pain
Needles and knives stab upwards at the soft sensation of human flesh
A sad attempt to welcome into the endless abyss that is emptiness
To hold onto hope is only to escape from one last moment of falsehood
Nothing will help now, it is inevitable that gravity will win and sorrow prevail
The end is here, but will remain at bay until it is least expected
A cracked glass bottomed boat floating along the sea, waiting

Your eyes, like galvanized steel
Piercing the open bullet hole in my chest
I would have forsaken all the rest
To melt those ice cold eyes to liquid
Your soul has shut me out, and it was my fault
I should have never left you filled with doubt
I just can’t escape your eyes, those **** eyes
What I would give to soften your glare
What will I do when you are not there?

Your eyes, like a dagger to my brain
The sharp words that left me speechless
The last kiss that left me breathless
I can’t forget your eyes, once so full of light
You’ve hardened to me, which I can understand
Yet no hope remains, something I can’t comprehend
I can’t escape you, nor erase you from consciousness
Your eyes, they said everything for you
Told me that forever would never be true

Your eyes, like a dead trampled flower
I would **** to go back in time again
When we were more than just friends
Your eyes shoot through me like no pain I’ve ever felt
Now there is nothing between us, only the past
Hastened love took flight, but had no hope to last
The anger, the words, the hatred, the disappointment
I hate disappointing; I only want to find true love
I thought we had more than that, something far above

Your eyes once gave me freedom, now only pain
Your eyes once embraced me, now push me away
Your eyes, now a set of forgotten train tracks
Your eyes, once so caring, now filled with disgust
Your eyes, something I can’t explain with words
Your eyes, probably something I’ll never deserve
Your eyes, I’ll never forget them, never relinquish them
Your eyes, I see them everywhere, but still you won’t be there
Your eyes won’t see the pain you’ve caused, nor my broken heart

The pain so real, the sting so sharp
I shouldn’t let you break my heart
You said you loved me, what a lie
Those countless nights you made me cry
You’d call me a liar, tell me to leave
Should never have left my heart on my sleeve
I almost gave you my trust, and all my soul
Never should have relinquished all my control
Your kiss and your touch were too good to be true
I should never have wasted those tears on you

I’d been through this before, thought that I’d learned
Turns out I’m destined to be the one who is burned
I begged you to listen, to give this a chance
Your paranoia took place of any hope for romance
I need to erase you from all of my dreams
And not keep on feeling so stuck in between
You were reality and fantasy collided into one
Being with you was like a walk in the sun
Now the sparks are smothered, the flame is long gone
I should have known that this would turn out so wrong

These last seven nights, I’ve spent all alone
Wondering if you were also sitting at home
But none of it mattered; it was all just a joke
I should have seen you were a dream made of smoke
I need to feel freedom, to forget all this stress
But each time I think of you, I turn into a mess
I know I’ll survive, there’s other fish in the sea
Should have known from the start, you weren’t right for me
All those interrupted sleepless nights, now seem unreal
Turns out you were nothing, except wasted tears

Deep breaths, try right now
Don’t get so caught up that you forget the sensation
Open the curtains and let in the sunlight
Don’t focus on how much the rays will scald
Try to slow the pounding heart rhythm
If you don’t it will only get worse
Step up and remind yourself you can
You can get free from suffocation
Life isn’t over, it’s only beginning
Don’t torch every last drop of hope
Before hope has the chance to flourish
It is so easy to forget the calm
So hard to breathe deeply and to think clearly
Freedom seems far away, but it is within reach
If hope is allowed to prevail, you will too
Torching hope is to end the adventure
To smother the flame is to set adventure free

Like a lead riddled bird, toppling from the highest sky
Falling faster than physics could have predicted
Blood dripping down, abandoning any hope for life
Shot down harder than could have been foreseen
Dropping to the ground with terminal velocity
Left to rot and decay, like an abandoned corpse
No one notices, no words are muttered, no sense of loss
The stinging words are the bullets and they ricochet
Through every orifice, through every *****
Tearing flesh, shattering bone, ripping membranes
Life is stolen, future forsaken yet no one stops to reconsider
There could have been hope, could have been something
But everything was lies, any chance for chance stolen
Shot down with endless pain, yet feeling nothing
Adrenaline numbs everything out, in the final closure
The last few inches coming at 9 meters per second per second
Slamming down onto the hard soil, all vital signs gone
Shot down like an animal, left for dead, neglected.

Set back? **** ******* right
At least you get that
You must think I’m a fool
To reconsider your touch
You must know it’s not cool
To **** someone’s head this much

‘Set back’? Doesn’t come close
Sheer devastation is what I know most
I can’t even remember the days before you
Why the **** would I do that?
You are nothing but cruel

I was an idiot to fall back
And see you again
I should have known from the phone call
How this night would end
I just wanted to feel you
To look into your eyes
But you were exactly the same
Constant accusation of lies

Set back? You are right
I am just that
Set back in time, set back in pain
I just should have known
You were ******* insane

[Verse 1]
Everyone should have someone like you
To make the world complete, make dreams come true
Someone like you makes my heart jump up and down
It’s someone like you I will always need around
To look in your eyes is a breath of fresh air
To be next to you is to not harbor a care
Someone like you is the bright light in my life
Someone like you rids my world of all strife

[Chorus]
I can’t imagine life without you
Wandering aimless on a heartbroken rue
With someone like you, life is like gold
Just having you to have and to hold
With someone like you, life is complete
With someone like you, no one could compete
Someone like you is my sanctuary
Someone like you is more than legendary

[Verse 2]
All the world is my playground, when I am with you
Everything is possible, nothing I cannot do
Someone like you makes my universe glimmer
I see someone like you and my eyes start to shimmer
Everything is brighter, my life seems so grand
There’s nothing I can’t tackle, when you hold my hand
Someone like you is the ying to my yang
Someone like you, helps keep me sane

[Verse 3]
Nothing can stop this, our endless desire
The passion won’t stop burning like a bottomless fire
To have someone like you along for the ride
Means more than to have angels standing at my side
Someone like you makes the sun shine much brighter
Someone like you makes the unbearable being a little bit lighter
This someone I speak of can’t be any old fool
That someone to me, will always be you

[Verse 1]
How could I be so blind, so as not to see
The flaws that were in you, that I knew there would be
When the spark finally ignited, I thought I had found
Someone I just loved always being around
You went away for weeks, and I thought I would die
To stalk you on facebook, not enough to suffice
I don’t know when this happened, or why I fell so hard
But being with you, and my soul felt recharged

[Chorus]
When was the last time I cried over a guy
Should have known he was a liar, just was in disguise
I don’t know what’s happening or what it all means
At first we were friends, but you meant more to me
When was the last time I felt as I do now?
Why would I let my guard down? I don’t know how
All men are the same, never saying what’s true
But I never once thought that they were like you

[Verse 2]
I thought you were different from all other men
I finally found connection, so much more than a friend
I should have been ready to come crashing down
It’s just that I loved you, loved you being around
Those cold bitter weeks, I longed for your voice
Guess I couldn’t have made a more horrible choice
The years that were behind us, should have enough
To know you would break me, if heat started up

[Verse 3]
Why would I ever have fallen so hard?
Maybe it’s now that I realize I’m scarred
I thought I was cool, comfortable, calm
Turns out I couldn’t have had it more wrong
I’ll never escape my time twisted mind
But no one will help me find time to unwind
You will not listen, nor will you seem to care
I’ll feel like my rock has turned into air

I’ve finally gotten over you
I’m past the pain and lies
I should have seen how good I’d feel
Instead of crying all this time

I relinquish all my memories
Of your touch, your taste, your smell
I had to get myself on track
Or face eternity in hell

Every time your face threatens
To jump back in my mind
I take deep breaths and forget it all
And the picture does subside

I’ve finally healed the wounds
That you created in my soul
I’ve finally warmed my heart again
And banished the harsh cold

I had to do this, just for me
To get over the old feelings
I have to look towards the future
And continue with the healing