i have been saving my apple seeds
after eating the whole fruit

piles in my pockets

i dont want to die
from their combined cyanide
i have just
been saving apple seeds

My subconscious mind would worry you
lingering attractions
prevail gaps in my desires
I must be missing something
there is something I miss

I want your off-tempo
scratched fluidity
the initial absorbtion
   shock absorption
to immediately disintegrate

and I do not feel guilty
I feel normal
and no different
but rather
confused
and curious

I do not remember much of it
a triad of points
that grow
   upward
      *****

have i collapsed?
no

but crumpled slowly
under steel thoughts
and rubble shouldes

and it was first mucus
that left my body

then my stomach

and finally
i was a pile
of rubble

I want your off-tempo
scratched fluidity
the initial absorbtion
shock absorbtion
to immedietly dissinigrate

and I do not feel guilty
i feel normal
and no different
but rather
confused
and curious

i do not remember much of it
a triad of points
that grow
upward *****

Deprived of limbs
but showered with extremities
i am left to cure my illnesses

you have brought them upon me

you smell like spf
and summer
pressed powder
and scalp

you are obtuse
when embracing

i am your clone
opposite beginnings
surely unwanted
same endings

i will fix myself
before I am my

tell me love confessions
of how you miss me
and love me
and are doubtless
then your words
materialize
a sugarless sweet
calorie free taste
and there is but no
sweeter satisfaction

I am uninspired.

This is simple;

Uneventful.

I heard the sirens
and suddenly I was spinning
and sobbing
they began as whimpers
i lurched out screams
and through screen windows
they heard me
and watched me
run down our lane.

i want people to just after me
and i want confidence to ooze out of by body
and i want people to turn their heads and swoon
and i want the attention i deserve
and the happiness i require
and the time needed to make it happen

but mainly i want your frozen heart
piggy backing on mine
until black mixes with purple
and you feel me
like three weeks ago
along the back of my spine
and front of my rib cage

cause baby i can feed you
and i can hydrate you after all the tears
and swell up all the sadness
until it blisters and oozes
cause baby its painful
i know it
stop counting
the clock stopped with me

with thorns I lash.
I tear into your weakness
use your voice against you
but with your eyes
you unfold my petals too easily
and you seemingly know my anatomy
with a sense unlike others

and with those eyes you pick me from the ground
and rapidly I deteriorate
because I meant not what I said

then one by one
my petals fall of
and am left with but a stem
but despite the lack of petals
my thorns remain in place

Smoke me on your cigarette break but
i am more than just ashes because
i linger on your skin
and fingers and you taste me
and you smell me
and eventually too much of me will
produce fine lines and lung obstructions
and soon enough i **** you

You have come accustomed to my crying
I am jade
I am rose
you lay there, perezoso
but I expect little.
let me sleep
I am exhausted.
do as you must to be entertained
your chest
and shoulders
offer sympathy and condolences
and after all this time
you’re the subject of my writing

with red ribbon around your finger
you are a man missing half a body.
but a man so perfect
with his other half next to him
with the other half of ribbon.

but who could have created a man
so perfect
but a higher power.
and you have inspired me
to talk to God.

sit next to me on wooden benches
and listen to sweet sermons.
hold my hand now
but tighter in prayer.
because I feel closer to God
than I ever have before.
and though I know not of Heaven
I know your faith is true.

and every night I lay still
and pray so gratefully
because God has not cut our red ribbon
and has given me one like you
to forever hold on to

I wish for your rays to extend past me
to darken my surface
and warm my core
you are bright
the color of awakenings.
you are my sun.

blow debris around me
cocoon me with your breath
make me move in your
directions
because you are unseen like ghosts
and stronger than gods
you are my winds.

It started in the spring on a stairwell
when the voice of the man behind the screen was finally heard.
and it led to awkward situations
and the giggle of girls
when her stories were told to her friends.
and in her eyes
was the highest degree of adoration.

in the summer they faced their first challenge.
while he went out to better himself
and she chose to study.
but with every day she missed him
she knew she loved him more

and in the fall it got bad
they began slipping
and neither was happy.
and she stayed up crying

but then in winter things changed
and they changed.
and despite the sting of the winter winds
they were happy
and they were together

For months you fed me
and I rejected
until I finally shriveled
and was left to die.
but in that state
I understood
and took in your offerings
and now may grow
and we may be parallel
   because now that I understand
   and don't mind occasional
   brushes with wind.

we can share pollen

And a simple
complete orbit
of black hands
creates such a distinction
complete significance
of routine
and ego.

A million pixels make up your image
mike tv
and combine to create
a collection of memories.

that is all you are.

One day
he'll marry me
and not just out of obligation

itll have been ten years
since the beginning of my nineth
a decade
lets make it milleniums

i am loved so wholly
my feelings have no holes

I hope the trees and flowers have made time for you
and the proper attention is being paid
because you have done things too courageous
and greedy
for me to comprehend
and when I see your name I smile

we share directions
live vertically
and fluctuate our emotions.
   though you chose a permanent ending
and mine will remain sweet and ongoing
but when I see your name I grin

I fear bleeding as you do
and seeing as much red as you have
but dear Sylvia,
show me your inspirations
because when I see your name I giggle

And one day I hope to understand
how the sea ends and the earth begins
but never do I wish to meet it
because the sea’s depths stretch greater than its widths

and for many moons I let the earth seep in
and I let it build
and take away my waters
   but the sea is far greater
   and its unknown strength then regained its rightful place
   where those islands had been

never will I know the bottom of the ocean
but if I lurk
I will cease to wonder

and will have met land

I think these aches run parallel
to the fact that you are missing.
I have deep pain
in my lower back
I can feel each muscle pull
   the worst spot on my body

and that’s where I liked you the most
come behind me
kiss my neck
your hands, my hips
deep growls
from inside your stomach
   that area misses you the most