Please
spare me of sweetheart details
of how your traveled redundantly
and gorged on material things
with others money
as I earn my own
yet still receive complaints
and see little of those I love
so please answer me
what is free time

I grew into a woman of mountains
and ridges amongst tissue
even peach fuzz can’t conceal
the daintiest of dimples

then spiders ****** me dry
and my insides liquefied
my ******* were the first to go
the second my femininity

looking good is being dry

I shook as I entered your doors
diabetic knees
I walked with caution
make myself unseen
with the utmost desire for visibility
hang off the ledge
bat my lashes

my love for her is unconditional
disappointment and triumph
I am a worm
let me burrow into your chest
and into the heart of the working nest
      miss me and accept me
      recognize me
      be glad to see me

adrenaline, like caffeine
I giggle and beam with river-eyes
expecting intense reaction
you continued your solemn demeanor
but through satellites you kiss my cheek

after alone ventures
windy waits for velvet seats
emptiness absorbed excitement from minutes before

I thought I missed the market
but surely I’ve mistaken

I miss you.
and the sick satisfaction of adrenaline.
the openness of your pantry
and sensitivity to dander that remains solely to your house.

jovial but once this year
I have exiled myself to other islands
to watch in golden telescopes

some others fill the gaps in which I made
yet I’ll blame you
for my own banishment

I am a prime example
of brains before beauty
putting my heart on the lines of loose leaf

Serotonin production ceased when steam was industrialized
drown me, dopamine
save my friendship

"I love you,
but rather your convenience.
your open pantry
and channels.

the quick fix of your generous lips
weekly dose of human affection.
I dislike your distance
but make no effort to prolong it.

spare me the detail of your accomplishments:
your petty achievements.
i am far too preoccupied
with an unbalanced slumber.

i love you,
but rather your convenience."

An extreme ***** of loneliness
rise over run
has plateau’d and remains constant

and on that ray
the fixed end is frustration
a sense of familiarity
and the inability to mobilize
in order to project anger

in desperation I contact.
send out my words
with underlying whimpers of pleading
I move from high to low
and in order to ground myself
I omit the most vibrant of energies

you are blind, I am unstable
if only my words grasped at your throat
sweet swimmer
and took attention to your voice
I was once so attracted to

be the man that your larynx suggests
I want some **** attention

I’ll admit to having missed you
despite the thorn-tongued remarks
"never again"
compatibility was inevitable
common factors in conversation

have two years passed
or did we glance away and forget
your voice is calming
and emotions astonishing
brush my hair
and tell me stories

I will feel inferior in your presence
but never more equal with another