I was given a cream canvas
That was clean and pure and unused
I dirtied it with age

I was given a cream canvas
And with anger and hatred
I dirtied it with crimson

I was given a cream canvas
I wanted to cover the red
I dirtied it with drawings

I was given a cream canvas
That aged alongside myself
I dirtied it with age

I was given a cream canvas
The cream canvas was my skin
I dirtied it with life.

An old woman walked up to me as I sang on the corner of the street
Claiming "your voice is that of an angel, please keep singing"
And she gave me a dollar and walked on.

A young boy on a skateboard rode up on my side of the street and listened to me sing
he said "your voice is made of golden sunshine, please keep singing"
he gave me two dollars and rode away.

A teacher of music then walked up to my corner
He told me, "your voice is worthy of a scholarship. please let my school have your voice"
And he gave me his card and a five dollar bill.

And walked away.

The funny part though is that they were listening to a dead girl sing.
The songs were my last farewells
For I sang from my departed soul and from nowhere else,
And I went home and laid down to die.

The child that had her heart cut to pieces
Never cried because it was weak
She had forgotten how to

She was bitter towards the world and love
She had let her walls down to someone she thought she could trust
She was mislead

The child tried to build barriers
But the attacks were from within
She began to feel trapped within herself

She tried to fight
But the fights confused her
She was frightened

She thought she would give love another shot
She let her walls down
And all hell broke loose

She tried to pull it all back in
But the doubts, the insecurities
They slithered like snakes and got away

That is why, when you tell her you love her
She does not open up
She is afraid of how damaged she’s become

And doesn’t want to be hurt again.

I laid down the rules
And prayed they would hold
You chose to broke them
You stepped over that fine line

That line was broken
I put up my walls
Hoping to protect the both of us
You took no notice

I figured out how to hurt you the most
And plunged my sword deep
The pain I could tell it was there
Even though you were silent

I never meant to hurt you
You finally saw the truth
I think I broke you
I hope you’re not broken like me.

Compliments from others slip from my mind
Affection makes my stomach hurt
Love would make me cry

Before I can accept the feelings of others towards me
I need to accept some feelings for myself
I need to love myself

How can I though
When all I see in the mirror are my flaws?
I am imperfect in so many ways

How can you see around my flaws
When I cannot?
Why can’t I love myself?

You've begun to fade like a dying star
Where did you go? It's like I don't know who you are.
You used to be so glad you shone
Now it seems as though your mind is blown.

Sadness wracks your soul
You're dying like a smoking coal
You're lost in the sadness and despair
I fear that you are broken beyond repair.

If you've got the resolve to die
I'll fight my hardest to try
To keep you living my friend
I'll love you until the end

I'm just trying to save you.

I can’t feel anymore
Not the warmth or the light
Not the cold or the dark

This feeling gnawing at my heart and soul
Is the feeling of being alone
The shadows have become my friends
And the darkness within controls

I’m losing myself in the emptiness
And I can’t come back

Just the thought seems strange
To picture myself old and gray
Thinking of the job I might have
Or the spouse I hope I meet

The children that might come about
Then the grandchildren later
Getting wiser with age
But knowing it won’t matter later

Right now, in my youth
I want to laugh
I want to be foolish
I want to break rules

I want to live my life
I want to sing
I want to dance
I want my youth to be eternal

Because growing up
It seems too hard
Too strange
I can feel the youth slipping away.