i want to run away from the monstrosity that is my body. the tattered mass of my insecurity since my younger years, the mannequin which enables my nerve-based steps, the mask that covers the verification that “I’m fine” meant “I’m broken”.
i want to escape from this prison where my pleasures lead to the clothes becoming tighter. the fingers that push keys of melody, but strike the streak of clean. the eyes that see the sunset each night, to open the door to my time of destruction. the mouth that rambles to the people around me, but screams when i know that what i said was imprinted with irritation.
i want to leave the hotel of disaster. my mind which rattles with schizophrenic fear and tells my physical being to destroy. my head that cringes with panic and helps my physical being shake and twitch and rock back and forth. my brain that teaches me how to be intelligent, yet intelligent with stresses of the world around me.

i want to abandon anxiety,
but that would mean leaving home.