Who am I to agree,
Your constant billowing steam, you come through my door
Ring, rung, the bell roars
Up to my room, second floor
The steps so close yet you can not find me

I am hidden in the handle, your movements are shaking
I ignore yet your fist is quaking, ****** on the wooden frame
I never thought I would be the same,
Vain,
Yet I feel nothing

Realizing a pattern, something I create
Feeling safety in my own mind
I make believe a story that I am too scared to live.

It seems my whole life I build this dream
And act as if it is reality. Sometimes,
That's okay.
Sometimes it doesn't really matter.
But once I open my eyes
I see my waves brushing reality away.
And I lose myself.

I find myself living under a pretend state of life.
As I watch the sun
I wish to be watching someone
I wish a being could warm my cold skin
Just as much as the sun.
Yet I've started to find,
I can live without a love like that.
I only crave a bond.
Friendship, compassion.

I need to move beyond the walls of my home
I have always allowed them to confine me.
Always allowing my feet to sink into the hardwood,
For hours on end.

Sometimes its easy,
And that makes it,
Not to bad - to feel this way.

To you is two,
Of one equal meaning
Touching you is the last thing I should do
The leaf stuck,
The T in between
I did before and I can after

I was stupid to believe.

Water and wine, drunk before nine
Numbers not associated with time,
Only the amount of glasses
Pours, drops, sips, reminisce

An ***** noise stops a string, watch it swing
Dance and cradle the wall before it falls
Constant shake, heart attack on wait
There's someone else.