Realizing a pattern, something I create
Feeling safety in my own mind
I make believe a story that I am too scared to live.

It seems my whole life I build this dream
And act as if it is reality. Sometimes,
That's okay.
Sometimes it doesn't really matter.
But once I open my eyes
I see my waves brushing reality away.
And I lose myself.

I find myself living under a pretend state of life.
As I watch the sun
I wish to be watching someone
I wish a being could warm my cold skin
Just as much as the sun.
Yet I've started to find,
I can live without a love like that.
I only crave a bond.
Friendship, compassion.

I need to move beyond the walls of my home
I have always allowed them to confine me.
Always allowing my feet to sink into the hardwood,
For hours on end.

Sometimes its easy,
And that makes it,
Not to bad - to feel this way.

Who am I to agree,
Your constant billowing steam, you come through my door
Ring, rung, the bell roars
Up to my room, second floor
The steps so close yet you can not find me

I am hidden in the handle, your movements are shaking
I ignore yet your fist is quaking, ****** on the wooden frame
I never thought I would be the same,
Vain,
Yet I feel nothing

Water and wine, drunk before nine
Numbers not associated with time,
Only the amount of glasses
Pours, drops, sips, reminisce

An ***** noise stops a string, watch it swing
Dance and cradle the wall before it falls
Constant shake, heart attack on wait
There's someone else.

To you is two,
Of one equal meaning
Touching you is the last thing I should do
The leaf stuck,
The T in between
I did before and I can after

I was stupid to believe.