Inimitable feelings of love,
hot coffee, steam, and ashes of clove;

Comfy mornings in bed,
moonlit window nights;

White linen skirts, crumpled and loved,
plaid flannel pj's, worn and loose;

Quiescent ink words,
hushed faithful whispers;

Peals of my heart,
answer the clamor of his pulse;

Brazen beard against my cheek,
if I could kiss the wind in his hair,
I could hear the song,
it reverberates from his touch
         through my body, down my spine
into my lungs, his melody;

Matching harmonies breeze
         through my fingers
entwining soft strands;

It's more than I think or feel,
free of what I know,
initmitable feelings of love.

When I was small and quiet, reserved, demure and sad
And I sat alone with my thoughts, watching,
I didn’t know you. You who were a wish of the future,
Not real. You were miles from me and robed in black doubt.

At fifteen I found the truthful facts of me. I detached
From reality. I brooded and drowned in my truth.
You were not yet there.

At sixteen I found those who taught me to swim.
I swam out of my self-imposed desolation.
To find you. Not knowing at the time what you’d be.
You were now present but out of reach and out of want.

A year later, everything has changed. After, rejection,
Abandonment, love and hate. All the unseen sides now shown.
Now four fortnights have passed. This winter isn’t as harsh
As the ones I remember. Many days take me to spring.
I see colors brighter now than before. Do you?
Each breath breathes deeper and tells me this is no thaw.
Have you breathed deeper this winter?
Seen brighter?
Tell me when your senses reach chaos moreover,
And I will go with you where they lead.

I've become a rollercoaster of emotions since him,
With the most
Spine tingling
Highs.
As for the lows,
No matter how awful I feel,
Seeing him instantly makes me feel high again.

And when we're alone,
I'm flying

It's everything.
It's when we're sleeping,
And warm,
And he holds me close.
It's lying there staring into each others' eyes.
It's listening to him
Softly
Breathing into my neck.
It's scratching his beard and seeing him smile,
I live for his smile...
It's when he says,
"I love you...
So much"
I get dizzy.
I say it too,
Feel it.
I close my eyes and I'm
Drowning
In these overwhelming feelings.

again
     hold me
                 closer,         tighter
   I miss it
          the crushing time
             the avalanche kisses
                 the       breath...
deep
      catch it
more

         my sweet **** lip balm
mingled with your
         taste

     ...I can still taste you

  feel you,
                 arms crushing me
  against you
                 closer,        tighter
           new passion
  first time

         you overwhelmed me
                        deepest I've known
                         first I've known
I want it
you
              again

i want him to hold me and make my problems go away
i want him to be there knowing that he'll stay
i want to walk the hallway and not have to hide
i want to be free of all the crap thats inside
i want him to kiss my tears away and make me alright
i want to see the dreams i know i have every night
i want to stop pretending to be strong
i want them to know everything is wrong
i want to be the weak one held in his arms
i want to not bear any more of these harms
i want to sit and cry in the rain
i want to let go of all of the pain
i want to be loved and hugged
i want someone to care
i want someone who won't add to all the **** thats there
i want to not be ashamed whenever i cry
i want to never have again the need to die
i want to feel him near me knowing he's there
i want him to know that i'll always be there
i want to just sit holding his hand
i want this and more thenever before
and i wish it could happen

i feel so artificial
i need to break down the barrier
the wall is in my way
impassable
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

it's been there so long
since before we remember
can it be gone
no
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

i pace to and fro
banging on the wall
i want to bring it down
it won't oblige me
it can't be broken
it can't be broken

my feet begin to falter
they curl up beneath me
i'm defeated
i retreat back inside
it can't be broken

it can't be broken