every time our eyes meet, it connects like red
strings as if it's predestined by fate that our
souls are meant to find each other (you have
my heart, i'll forever cherish yours) and our
bond is getting more blinding, more tight but
it never curls up to our throats with restrictions

you have the ability to finish what I'm about
say with ready syllables, you are capable of
keeping up with me knowing full well what
a huge feat that is, i am the yin to your yang
(or is it the other way around?), the only part
you can inflict pain on me is to my cheeks for
making me laugh so much it leaves me gasping
for air and i'll find some of my words in your
mouth and my gestures in your actions and my
heart swell with joy to know you care enough
to not mind that there are pieces of me within you

With you, it's always a blast
With you, it's always a happy day

With you, I want to forever stay

Why is it that whenever I’m one snip
away from completely cutting you out
of the map, the earth’s plate tectonics
promise me that, this time, you’ll stay
rooted in one place like the mountains
but you always walk away?

I’ve learned that you are no land
that sits idly on the same spot, you’re the
wind that’s always ready to go forward
(and in circles, it makes me dizzy)
and I’ve been trying to burn the bridges
and jump down railroads just to refrain
my feet from following you but signs keep
popping overhead that the journey is going
to be worth it, my destination is almost near
and the breeze-like voice
I'm waiting for you is all I am hearing

but I have no sense of direction, not
   when it involves you but I did try to ask
   for the right route to take
   however everyone
   keeps telling me the same words “just follow  
your heart” like they all know you are it, that
it’s you and that you are home

and so I tried to match
footsteps with heartbeats
until I could reach you

but you had already moved on

it's so unfair that my head whiplashes, my eyes
dart as if it's an archery event and you're the only
target i found was worth releasing the bow from
its arrow to and that my heart starts its musical
number of blue songs and wild rock at the mere
mention of your name and of anything that reminds
me of you--and it's so unfair because i could easily
forget names and appearances as if they're painted in the background but your name seems to be
wedged inside my mouth, i have to look away from
mirrors because everytime i smile i see it and you
appear everywhere--in books, in journal entries, in high school buildings, in my living room
floor, in convenient stores, in old forgotten 90s songs, in the streets with warm pavements, in boys
who reminds me of you whose identities are now
covered wih your favorite color until i could only
see blue--and it's so unfair because i think of you
on days I've promised I won't and I'm writing you
another poem when you can't even text back

i know my worth, you never saw mine
i know your worth, and i bled everytime
you cut me down with your gold edges
because unlike how my head would turn,
yours would look away and while my
eyes searches for you, yours could see
past through me and while my heart wails
for you to notice, yours remain steady-paced,
unaffected, unstirred

it's so unfair, so unfair.
Can you tell me when i can taste victory?

i never found you to be cruel, even when you played
with my heartstrings as a consequence of baring my
heart open or when you sent me flowery words you
know well are my favorites just so you can see me
bleed from its thorns

i never saw you as a mistake, even when i've already drowned
once down the quicksand of all the time i wasted, even when
i'm well aware of how reckless of a force you are and i would
still heedlessly forget to practice safety measures

i never thought of you as someone who can save me, and while
it's true that i have fallen from grace, i have already been washed
up on the shore, i have already found myself, and i don't need no
hero but if i was asked what i do need, am i allowed to utter
your name? the name that echoes deep inside the hollowness
of my existence, engraved in my mind, tattooed on my soul?

i never wanted you to think that i'd be incomplete without you
because even i think such an idea is irrational and untrue, i never
wanted you to raise my hopes up and crush down my expectations,
i never wanted you to wear your heart on your sleeves so that
we'll match, what i wanted was simply you.

i've always wanted you,
but if you don't feel the same way,
then goodbye.

even the musky scent of cigarette
smoke and the lingering taste of
alcohol still can’t elude me to think
that everything is going to be alright

funny how your smile can

he said, "I'll support you with
whatever makes you happy."

a pause.

"I'm happy with you--will you
support me on this?" i replied.

for more than 14 years I've
been in an unrequited love
with my dream

and i still haven't got it