Is this what I'm seeking
With this wonderful boy?
Not sure what to do
To him and all, my heart is a toy

But he's funny, he's nice
Adorable, sweet
Whenever I see him
The blood rushes to my cheeks

I laugh when he's flirting
I frown to get my way
He's always asking me
Why not today?

The answer to this
I really don't know
Is it that I just don't want
To let our friendship go?

So boyfriend, or best friend
Whatever it may be
This boy will always
Mean something to me

The roller coaster ride
I never got on
Spinning and twirling
Wish so badly to be withdrawn

Feels like the world's crashing
I'm screaming and turning
As we spin downward
My head's thrashing and burning

As the train rises upward
The crowd is ecstatic
We turn to the left, wrong exit
All turn more dramatic

As we're racing our wheels
Sharp turns, narrow corners
We leave some behind
Emotionless mourners

This ride is strictly
For ones seeking adventure
Willing to make difference
Not nine-inning benchers

So as the ride empties
And all fade away
I notice this trip was a lifetime
As some would say

You lived yours quite wisely
Did not take for granted
A perfect example
Of a hip-hooray chanted

You didn't sign up for this
But this all meant so much
Even when your hope sank low
Your destiny was a personal crutch

This, I should have shared with you
Except, I never did
You always begged me just to talk
But, I only kept it hid

Now it's digging way down deep
It's ******* with my heart
I would have tried to tell you
I had no clue how to start

I miss your ripe, green eyes
Staring back at me
The warmth of your smile
That had always set me free

The hand that interlocked
Fit perfectly with mine
Everything that made us strog
Let two hearts intertwine

It has all vanished
All feeling shattered
If i begged you to stay
It wouldn't have mattered

I finally accept the failure I am
While the tears escaped and fled
I reminisce these memories
Rewinding in my head

I can't believe I want this back
After everything we've been through
But before I lay down to sleep
I pray and dream of only you

Every morning I awake
Is yet another dissapointment
I only want to embrace those hugs
That made me realize life's extent

I never even told you
Or explained my jealousy
I never tried to let you know
I miss you and me

You love me
Are you sure?
So hard to believe
After what you made me endure

I want to believe you learned
But you've hurt me so much
We used to be perfect
Now i frown at your very touch

I look into your eyes
But only to see
All the pain and anger
That lives inside of me

Just like a daydream
This all fades to grey
As i'm left in the dust
To rot and decay

When these three words
Are directed from you
Questioning your love
Is the most I can do

The pain and agony, the razor sharp tears
They pour from my eyes, my pain transitions to fear
Fear for our friendship, what do i do?
Those dreaded three words that have always pulled us through

I don't want to believe them
Not sure what is a lie
Feeling this useless
Just results to my cry

These tears of blood
Are all I can show
My heart is broken
In which no one can sew

So as the pain continues
I await another day
Blood is streaked all down my cheeks
There's nothing left for me to say

Don't wish to be remembered for something i'm not,
Or forgotten for the honest of me,
I want to walk tall, be known by the all,
And not fake what the world and I see.

What I am is not broken or wearing,
I'm not one who's known for a crime,
I am the one in the crowd, who would scream it aloud,
That this life is a privelage, and is granted one time.

Where and if I shall live this born beauty,
And pass on to the life after now,
My past yearns to live long, with my mem'ries shared strong,
For my life's adu, take a bow.

Newborn,
So sweet,
Cry, scream,
Eat, sleep.

Learns more,
Crawl, walk,
Grows more,
Run, talk.

First grade,
Then on,
Grows up,
Soon gone.

New love,
Grows big,
Hitched up,
Lust gig.

Plus sign,
Kin borned,
Parents,
Were warned.