bottled breast milk
*****
mother
I loved her
but I've grown up
sipping from my
grown up cup
brown bagged *******
warm chest
desire
desire
to sleep like a baby
to cry like a little girl

Red wire
Black wire
We're trying to love each other
Touchy loose
sparks in the fire
She's trying her best
to give her all
red magnet
black magnet
she's pushing and pulling
trying her very best

Father
threw her hair into the dumpster

It was Good Friday

The birds did not sing

blue scooters
false pride
blue house
bus rides
laughter, oh the laughter,
the smell of your fragile body worn out
fifty cents
screams
all of the whispering
broken chair
bullied blue faced
baby boy
brother
memory covered
in green paint
yellow paint
was it ******
was it ******
the end all be all
last breath
blanket
shame faced
who murderers
what a way to go
was it worth it
star trek
was it worth it
are you happy yet
did you do it
boy scout
noose knots
after thoughts
in the quiet streets
one last
prehistoric animal screech
ambulance tires
i was on the sidewalk
laughing, laughing
showing off
did we care
why am i sitting here
broken chair
broken boy
pants down
feet up
how did they find you
little brother
step father mother
swinging of you body
cold and white
kids who pushed you
wearing ties
cutting classes
all the third grade boys
looking up
confused
clenching souvenirs
blank permission slips
you genius
where are you now
insubordinate fool
you would have been our boss
you would have taken care of us
where are you now?

spark plug fingertip
you're my Emma
you're my jelly bean
e v e r y t h i n g
wrapped around my face
light blue

they say I looked like you,
no,
you looked like me
e v e r y b o d y
dreams the same dream

we called you soul mate
you give us all we need
I, Linus,
you, blanket.
I, fish eye,
you, greatest catch.

You, boy lover,
take me here,
in the parking lot,
in the rain puddle,
in front of the yellow windows
Between cars,
we are
naked
part girls
part boys
caught by the camp counselor
she,
part girl,
part boy

I hope your plastic yogurt spoon
Breaks in your mouth
And cuts your tongue
And you confuse your blood
With swirls of strawberry

I hope it tastes good
Just like
When you cut my tongue
And confused my blood
With red wine
And acted drunk
And foolish