i saw you for the first time,
in a very long time,
yesterday evening.
you were sitting at your desk,
burying your nose in paperwork,
rushing to get it done.
you looked so tired,
you looked so frail.
if i were to touch you,
you would have crumpled over.
you once told me that,
you'd never be the person
stuck behind a desk for hours,
being apart of something
that you never wanted to do.
you always told me you'd be free,
that'd you be creative,
and joyful.
but the tables turned,
and you were forced to apply
for a job you didn't want,
that you didn't enjoy.
and the happiness is drained from your face.
and there in no life in your eyes.
and when you looked up,
you hardly recognized me.
a dazed and confused girl,
lost in this filthy horror show.

last night i dreamed i killed myself.

today i wished it was true.

she set the pumpkins out,
and decorated her house.
she got her costume ready,
she was a measly gray mouse.
the witches came riding,
and the black cats hissed.
the neighbourhood boys egged houses,
but her house they missed.
children cried out "TRICK OR TREAT,"
and parents rushed them along.
she was with her group of friends,
a place where she didn't belong.
ghosts come haunting the streets,
and the blood of vampires drip down.
superheroes run house to house,
and clowns turn their frowns upside down.
it's a night that everyone waits for,
a night where the dead roam free.
it's a night where i let myself go,
it's a night where i can be me.

you're breathtaking.
i marvel in your beauty.

i looked down at you,
and i couldn't help but frown.
they parted your hair wrong,
you'd never wear that gown.
they swiped makeup on your face,
the kind that'd make you gag.
they straightened your hair wrong,
oh, i could imagine how you'd nag.
your beautiful eyes were closed,
and no smile was on your face.
you skin was frosted cold,
you were in the wrong place.
they caught me weeping,
beside your resting bed.
they wanted to escort me away,
i just wanted to be dead.
i begged for one last look,
and prayed for you to come back.
i asked for at least one kiss,
but then i started seeing black.
i woke up on my own bed,
the sun became the moon.
and ever since that very day,
i've been singing the same sad tune.

you had too many drinks that night,
and she was wearing a dress,
so you thought, "she's a ****," right?
because you label women as:
what they wear is what they are, right?
you tried to woo her countless times,
but she still said no,
and you thought she was playing with you.
you thought, just because she was wasted,
that means she's ***** and wants to ****.
she was an innocent girl.
all she wanted was to have fun,
but you ruined that for her.
even after she pushed you off,
and smacked you in the face,
and called you every swear word,
you thought she wanted you.
she cried for help,
but the music was too high,
and everyone was too drunk,
and they all thought she wanted it too.
and that makes me sick.
because she didn't want it,
she wanted a place to let loose.
she didn't want it,
she just wanted some fun.
a couple of beers,
a couple of cheers,
then she'd go off with her friends.
but you've formed her into a woman,
a woman who screams in her sleep,
who locks all the doors,
who jumps at every bump in the night.
you've done that to her,
and you don't even feel sorry.
you thought she was an animal,
just a play toy.
but she was so much more.
and after she stopped weeping,
you tried to kiss her again,
but she pushed you away,
you got angry with her.
you shook her and smacked her,
you beat her black and blue.
don't lie to me, i know you want me.
i know you want me.
I KNOW YOU WANT ME.
and she screamed,
even if you hurt her.
she screamed and screamed,
even when you broke her jaw.
she shrieked.
she cried.
she never wanted you.
a week later i was walking home,
and coincidentally i looked up,
and on top of the building was a figure.
there was a goddess up there,
black and blue from a beating,
but still beautiful.
her sobs floated from her mouth,
down to the streets,
but no one bothered to listen.
but i did.
and i went up there,
and brought her down,
and hugged her.
she flinched and squirmed,
because some **** had ruined her.
some ******* poisoned her thoughts,
making her believe every guy is the same.
every guy she has ever loved or trusted,
became another trespasser.
she couldn't even look her father in the eye.
but she broke down before me,
revealing herself in blood in tears,
painting me a story that made me sick.
she cried for hours on that roof,
curled up in front of me,
begging me to let her die,
but i refused.
i saved her life,
and i hope no one saves yours for when karma comes around.

i kissed the length of her body,
an extra kiss for each scar,
i trailed my fingers up and down,
and traced every mar.
she curled into a ball each night,
and cried herself to sleep,
i wrapped my arms around her,
and let her sob and weep.
when the sun is shining,
she sings happy tunes,
but when the moon is high,
she's in complete ruins.
i haven't met a girl so sad,
who is completely broken,
but she shines like a goddess,
even though she's soft-spoken.
old feelings come rushing in,
i think i found my heart,
it was within this quiet girl,
right from the start.