Part I
A sad girl remembers all the lies she was told,
All the hurt through the years has made her cold,
Memories of betrayal linger in her mind,
Wondering who will wrong her this time,
Trusting is something she could never do,
Loving is impossible after all she has been through,
Living to her is like a game of Russian Roulette,
Guessing which pull of the trigger she will regret,
Playing with her is equal to playing with fire,
She knows the game; she can be all that you desire,
Trying to beat her at her own game could be a fatal mistake,
She can change like the salamander; she is everything superficial and fake,
She has no love to give anyone, even you,
Once you are caught there is nothing you can do,
She can be everything any man could dream of,
Just don’t ask about her past; don’t ask for love,
Oh, she will tell you what you want to hear,
Deep down inside one can almost detect the fear,
No one can see that deep because they really do not want to know,
They do not want to witness the real spirit she can show,
Each and every time she strives to be true and real,
She ends up the fool, and anguish is all she can feel,
But that won’t stop her, she will pick up the pieces and move on,
You won’t see her cry, she’s too proud to let you know you have won,
She is caught between who she should be and who she wants to be,
I her world there are no dreams, hopes, or breaking free,
So thins girl cries alone, tries alone, and dies alone,
Dying a little each day because she has no real home,
When she finally does risk emotion and caring,
She is the only one sacrificing and sharing,
Once again she will fall in to the emptiness,
Into her world of antipathy and blackness,
Without understanding this is where she will remain,
In the darkness surrounded by ghosts who deliver pain,
Each one taking her to new levels of agony,
In spite of her anguish she won’t accept anyone’s pity,
Again she will struggle for one more chance, another try,
She will fight her way out for Hope, but once again she dies inside,
It is a never ending cycle; strive, battle, and fall,
She will get up yet again, head up and walking tall.
Part II
It is onerous for her to reveal she has been defeated,
It is burdensome to confess she retreated,
For she is apprehensive of how she feels,
She’s terrified this loneliness will forever be real,
Frightened of the images from her past,
Too old for her years, she grew up too fast,
Memories of all those fading yesterdays,
She yearned for it all to just go away,
Alone she sleeps with her fears,
Needing someone to hold her near,
She is not unknowing, she perceives the reality,
She recognizes love is a mere hopeful fantasy,
As she cuddles up with the cold and desolate night,
She prepares herself for another prolonged and excruciating fight,
With only tears and memories to keep her company,
While the shadows move in like an infantry,
One more battle between nightmares and restless sleep,
She prays, she aches for her sanity to keep,
Just to make it to see one more dawn,
Anticipating secretly that it won’t be long,
Another pull of the trigger marks the end of the day,
Five empty chambers still eager to make her pay,
This torture is getting to be too much to bear,
Someone save her, some one please care,
Don’t let her continue to **** herself piece by piece,
Love her, hold her, make your absolution her final release,
If she continues to play this psychological game,
The final shot will make her go insane,
All I have written is real and true,
For “She” is me and I would not lie to you,
Somebody stop me please,
Before I die of this loneliness disease.
Copyright Nichole North 1988/2010