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Lila Lily-Thanh Aug 2010
You and I are two parallel lines.
Practically speaking, we can never meet.
Theoretically, we do at infinity.

Where is infinity?
How do you get there?
How can you stay there?

My love,
my infinity is where the heart is
where no one can take things away from us.

We cannot reach within our own hearts.
We only know they beat inside us
while belonging to someone else.

Mine is yours,
and so I will not lose it.
You will never lose it.

If one day yours, too, became mine,
we would no longer be parallel lines.
Lila Lily-Thanh Aug 2010
You said you were not the one for me.
I think you are not the one for me.

And yet,
Every night I go to bed and wake up to the thought of you.
Every day I walk the streets hoping I would run into you.

I said I liked you so much.
You said, likewise.

You said perhaps one day we could be even more than this.
I said, yes, we could.

You said I should be with somebody else.
I think I should be with you right here, right now.

Every heartbeat, every moment, every second,
I have you in my heart, in my mind, in my dreams.

I do not say "I love you" for it would be a lie.
I do not say "I miss you" for it is already a fact.

We cannot cross this line between us,
to respect what has already been.

I want to break all my rules for you.
You cannot let me do that to myself.

I fall weak on my knees at your resistance.
You, my happiness, leave me with intense sadness.

We are not ready for each other.
But my dear, I am wholly yours.
Come take me when that line vanishes.
Lila Lily-Thanh Aug 2010
find me.
find me, before it gets too dark outside
and you have not with you a spark of light.

the mud must have thickened on your wheels,
the sun must have risen above your hat,
and still you could not find me.

I stare into the sunset behind a tree,
on top of a hill, where the children play.
I listen but I do not understand their talks.

why are you so late? have we not promised
to start eternity together as soon as possible?
I hear my anxiety in the wind between the little rocks.

the day is ending again, along with my hope,
but I will come back tomorrow, waiting,
where one could see the burned sky behind the tree.

the children has come back to their parents,
telling them in high-pitched voices,
that crazy woman did come again!
to which the parents replied,
do not come near her, alright?

and they all ran away
as the sunset
fell down on me.
Lila Lily-Thanh Aug 2010
In those days, at every corner of the city
you could find a coffee shop.

There was never a high-rise building,
everything stood together in an unorganized manner,
for they never mastered the art of urban landscaping.

Street vendors had their own way of singing
their promotion songs. You remembered the tune, the words,
which reminded you of those streets.

The sounds of vehicles and their horns and the winds
never stopped. But in those days, they used to be
purer. Clearer. More innocent, perhaps. Less troubled.

Life never stops being tough,
but it was quite beautiful,
then.

When I grew up
the city was still left with fragments of history.
I had no memory of what had happened before I was born,
yet you felt in the air the gentle sadness, and the subtle beauty
from those French buildings. The architecture
slowly faded away as icons from the war,
becoming part of our modern life.
We had to move on,
and so did everyone who had left.

Those buildings, instead, became icons of my childhood,
of what I remembered about the city.
From my elementary school,
you could see the Notre-Dame Cathedral Basilica to your left,
the Central Post Office right in front of you.
I was always taken home via the street former known as
the Rue Catinat.

I would never forget the way it felt every afternoon.
I'm going home.

Those places have changed, and so have people,
and so have I.
The day they demolished Givral Cafe,
Xuan Thu Bookstore, Passage Eden,
the whole street block of memories,
was the day many of us lost something so deep in our heart.
History was gone once again.
And soon enough,
we would allow ourselves to forget once again.

I keep reminding myself,
Hey, it's ok to change.
My city does not repond to me.
It just becomes so foreign,
as if it has always belonged to somebody else
but me. And I keep digging
into the dust, the traces, the pictures
to find solace in what I could remember
about my changed lover.

They say, in the end it does not matter,
modern society needs revolutions.
Evolutions. Higher skyscrapers. Highways.
A North-South express railway even (Idea rejected.)
We need to catch up with the rest of the world.

Oh, dear men, I am fine with that. I am an easy fellow
who seldom feels too strongly about anything in particular.
But my heart keeps aching from some changes you guys make.
It outraged the day you took down my corner of memories.
I was in Boston reading the news my friends sent me,
picturing myself sitting at those steps in front of the Opera House
looking at the mass of broken bricks and dust
that was once a nice, little, iconic coffee shop-
Givral.

When my friend talked to me about changes around that block,
she talked in a tone that almost seemed guilty.
She did not know how to break the news to me
without also breaking me apart.
For just a few months before that,
we were walking down **** Khoi Street (the Rue Catinat, if you may),
taking pictures of the Opera House,
Givral Café, the Continental Hotel,
joking of how we acted like tourists.

Try being a tourist in your own city.
It means seeing everything with a fresh set of eyes,
trying to record everything,
trying to grasp the essence of everything
within a short amount of time.
I guarantee you it is fun.
And it will reinvigorate your love,
your understanding, your hope.

I was disappointed with some decisions others made.
Yet, being a city girl,
I was raised to adapt to them.
To learn that there will be thousands of other coffee shops
bookstores
landmarks
so many choices to overwhelm me
to drive me away from the time
when I had so few.

Will it eventually work? I do not know.
But that corner of the street (now demolished),
that corner of memory (now fading),
I was there.
Yes, I was there.
I will definitely make further edits to this, but I'd like your inputs on the word flow, grammar, construction/order of ideas, etc.

I haven't been away from my city for long, but the changes have been quite drastic recently. The coffee shop mentioned, Givral Café, was built in 1950 during our French colonization period. Ever since it has been a legendary place where many international journalists and writers and others meet. It was taken down on April 2010.

I was born years after the Vietnam War was over, so my memories are not really associated with anything war-related. My childhood was spent around the city center with French architecture around (the Cathedral and the Post Office are still there; the Opera House was renovated, but the whole street block of Givral and Passage Eden I mentioned is now gone.)

There is not much and there is too much to say about that city. I often find it either too difficult or too easy to write about it. You probably feel the same way about something or someone you're in love with. All the words could be dedicated, yet none would be satisfying enough.
Lila Lily-Thanh Aug 2010
He quickly forgot to hold her hands the way she loved it.
Who remembers those things after having stained the sheets?

The pain keeps turning her like a leaf in the wind
not seeing where it comes from,
or where it will go, for all it knows
is being swirled away in a state of chaos.

Her sense of right and wrong was dislocated,
as she keeps thinking back to how good things feel,
forgetting that one is not supposed to cling onto memories
of sensations. They delude you, make you ignore,
turn you away from seeing
where exactly it hurts.

She resists from calling him to not appear
desperate. Needy. Clingy. Anxious.
He is given more freedom than he needs,
which slightly surprises him.
Perhaps she does not care either.

Their twisted sense of communications
has brought the relationship
to where two people are not meant to be.
It is where the *** is incredulously fantastic,
while the non-*** is incredibly empty.
FWB/NSA series.
Stories... make me think that modern life has changed
in a way some of us cannot keep up.
Or perhaps, we have let chaos get the better of us.

But this is just one aspect among many others.

Keep believing in Love while you still can.
Lila Lily-Thanh Jul 2010
Dwelling on thoughts about you
is my favorite way of getting lost.

Before we met,
we had been at the same places,
only separately.

I wonder if you ever walked past me,
or I you.
I wonder if we had the same emotion
looking at the sunset burned onto the sky.

Those streets that have seen you and me
must have wondered why we never turned around
and recognize the face
we would see as we have known now.
What took so long for souls like ours
to find one another?
What took so long for my dark brown eyes
to meet those of yours?

To know your hands have touched the same doors,
your feet have walked the same stairs,
your eyes have seen the same places,
your skin has felt the same wind,
is so unbelievably ******.
Lila Lily-Thanh Jul 2010
Our summer is coming to an end.

Days fall short of love's breath, lingering touch,
making it seem ridiculous for me to turn away.
Nights of urban solitude have completely covered us,
why are you still closing your soul?

The vastness of not being able to grasp
how it feels to be you
has driven me so **** mad
like a river losing its way on the path to the ocean.

Why are you so free in this relationship?
Why can't I just let you go?

Not that I could hold you back when you want to leave.
You of freedom, of individualism, of utmost liberty.
The thought of separation after all we've had
turns me into the ghost of myself.
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