I wear my American Culture like
a miniskirt and crop top
underneath a
trenchcoat.

My family burdens
are burned
into my brain like
my father brands
our cows.

I am alone
but not lonely
and sometimes I find myself
So ******* disgusted with everyone
even myself.

You are the afterburn image of lightning

glowing behind my eyelids as i retreat

from the  storm.

you are the singed hair

and adrenaline rush,

but you are also the

cardiac arrest.

When i look at the moon i realize i am a jumble of atoms.
Mostly H and O.
and my bones are betraying me.
crumbling with every step i take
my tendons tearing
patellas separating
and i love frivolously
and violently
and wishfully
I love like i am breaking
because i am.

I am a jumble of atoms
and sometimes when i walk
down a dark alley way
and I can almost make out Orion's belt
when the light pollution isn't bad and
the skies are clear,
(which is rare)
I realize i'm not going to be here
in 100 years.
maybe not even 50.
and my heart beat quickens and my bones crumble
and my tendons tear
I am a wisp of time
a dust mote
a drop of water
a passing feeling
of remembrance
when you enter a town you've never been in
and know where to find the bookstore.

I love you like a schizophrenic
Loves the voices in her head
Telling her she’s worthless
Like she couldn’t imagine
Life any other way than your degrading
Words circling her
Like vultures.

I love you more than an insomniac loves those precious few hours
Of sweet relief
Those pills bring her.
Out of consciousness
Her escape.

I love you like a sinkhole
Devours houses
One second pristine and perfect
The next sliding to the fiery depths of
Hell.

I wish I could greet death
Like a svelte Russian KGB agent
With bright red lipstick and a menthol
Dangling from my mouth
Leaning against a brick wall
So casually

But in reality

I will greet death like a newborn infant
Alone in the world until it meets the eyes
Of its mother

I will greet death
Hiding under a desk
With the barrel of a gun pointed at my face
Wondering when was the last time I told my mother I loved her.

I will greet death like a naïve university student
Learning about entropy
Did you know,
There’s a law of thermodynamics which states entropy is
What the universe is constantly moving towards
Energy resolving itself into a more probable arrangement
Like the moment it all clicked together
My universe, my body, my system
All shifting to a more probable arrangement,
that is Death.

When we were twelve you told me your favorite color
hadn't been invented yet.
Now you say its a mixture between the sky
after the sun has set but before it turns dark
and the sunset reflecting off your lover's eyes.
We feel mountain ranges.
We feel peaks and valleys
the entire topography of the earth
is crammed into our souls.
We feel miniscule.
When you were twelve you told me we are all ants,
refusing to admit the magnifying glass is poised
above us.
When we were twelve you told me that
you think our atoms knew we were sisters at heart
before they even met.

You told me you're a coward.
I hope you're never
brave enough to follow through.