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S&M
Lilly Tran Apr 2011
***
It feels so strange being sad.
There's no way I'll miss that.
Now the pain is my pleasure
and your love will not measure

how free

how clear

how happy
I feel now.



Love is great, love is fine.
Now that you're
out of heart,
out of mind.
The cold burn of your feelings,
the "I love you" lies that you brought me,
leaves me screaming
"no more".

Cuz I might be sad but I'm perfectly good at it
I'm done with you now
and hey, I love the sound of it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but you won't do that to me
any more.

Na na na na na
I'm gone
I'm gone
I'm gone
and I love it.
Na na na na na
We're done
We're done
We're done
and I love it, love it.
Na na na na na
You're alone
You're alone
You're alone
don't you love it, love it?

You hurt me bad, messed me up
I tagged along, I was just a pup
but joke's on you cuz now I'm a *****
so kneel down, boy, cuz I'm done playing your fetch.

Cuz I might be down but I'm perfectly good at it
You're on your own
and hey, I love the sound of it.
Words and wrongs may break my bones
but you won't do that to me
any more.

The pain I took drove me mad
but now I won't give you that.
Now the pain is my pleasure
my heart is my treasure
cuz that I've stolen it back from you.

You doled out the hurt,
I groveled at your feet.
You pushed me too hard,
I wept and plead defeat.
You threw me away,
I came crawling back for your sweet.

But now

I'm finished with *** and sadomasochism
I'm finished with you, your lies, your macho-ism.
I'm taking my heart
and I'm taking my stuff
and I'm laughing as I leave.
Lilly Tran Sep 2012
I feel your absence in my sleep,
the two by six abyss where your body should be.
Crime scene lines in my mind stand out starkly on the sheets;
those lines of snow and desperate hoes stealing you away from me.
It's been weeks now where
rolled-up bills, razorblades, railroad tracks have become your new significant other.

The minutes tic-tocking by in my dreams,
without you they slink by so slow from my fitful doze.
I wander and wade in nightmares after smoking sheep and counting green,
the Sandman is stalking me, mocking me and I'm praying you were near.
I put the ghost of your body in this pillow
but a stuffed bag is no soldier, so with nothing to protect me, I lie awake with no lover.

5 AM: caked-up ***** cutting lines for you.
Do you feel like a rock star now?
Rocks of blow, star of skanks, putting the King in ******* pathetic.
Dictator of my days but just a distant memory at night;
did I imagine you in the sun? Did you actually sleep next to me once?

I never sleep on your vacant side.
Even while tossing and turning in the tiny hours of the night,
I can still feel the divide
from that thin white line.

— The End —