Lying on the bed
Crying for help
The only other option
Is a slow painless death
She picks up the telephone
Talking to a friend
My life is useless
It somehow must end

There’s no joy in
Her soul today
Visions of suicide in
Her head do play
When she needed someone
To just be there
They turned their backs
They just didn’t care

She went into the bathroom
And looked into the mirror
Heart broken, lonely,
Sad and teary
No one would answer her
When she calls
No, not a soul,
Not anyone at all

She held up her arms and
Said, my life is a twist
Seconds later she
Cut both her wrists.
Laying on the floor
In a puddle of blood
Crying, and sad because
No one gave her love

While slowly closing her eyes
One more time she cried;
It’s over for me now
No more hurt inside
Before she planned
This selfish act
She wrote a note
And explained the facts

The note said I’m leaving
Not that anyone care
When I needed you the most
You were never there
You can’t find my life
Because Now I am free
No one ever cared what
Happened to me
I don’t have to hear
Or put up with lies
No one made me do this
It’s a planned suicide!!!!!!!

One day I was hungry
And my family was too
So much of stress,
I didn't know what to do
I sat and wondered what
My next meal would be
No apples or oranges
To fall from the tree
  
I went to my neighbors
And ask for bread
Only enough for our self;
That’s what they said
The look on my children face;
I just couldn't forget it
The store manager said;
No money no credit
  
By now I was tired
And my eyes fill with tears
I have to feed my family,
But no one would give.
My children crying for food,
And I didn't know what to do
If only I knew some way
To help me pull through.
  
On my way home
I passed this church
I heard good singing
That I like very much
The doors of the church
I fasten my eyes
I walked slowly through
The door, on the inside
  
The preacher walked down
And took my hand
He said; you going through,
But God understand
The message was clear
As the bible on my shelf
I needed the faith
To believe for myself.


I prayed and I waited,
Setting quiet as a mouse
Mid-day the next day,
God sent an Angel to my house
A knock on the door,
I open with a smile
Please come in and sat a while.
  
He said; I tried to call you,
I did my best
To bring to you
this very last check
When you got fired from your job
They fail to give you your last pay
This is what brought me
To your house today.
  
It clicked in my head
What the preacher had said;
God understands, and he sent me bread
Tears ran down my face
As I walked up my stairs
It’s a miracle; God do answer prayers
He has saved me
From the trouble in my life
And for that I will
Sleep well tonight.

The mind holds terrible things
We wish no one could see
It tells a flattering story
As flattering as can be
Deep dark secrets fulfill
This space of air
When we think we are loved
The mind says; I don’t care

In this empty space we
Somehow call our minds
Deceive a person’s heart
And somehow keeps them blind
We will never know
The inner thought
Buried deep within
In a selfish twisted mind
That somehow has no end

In a quiet place is when
The mind works best
It always distinguish itself
From the boundaries
Of all the rest
It sees things that ordinarily
Shouldn't be
It feeds on overload and
And why, we cannot see

You thought lies, envy, jealously
Always come from the heart
It always starts in the mind
The utter most selfish part
There are two things in life
You will never ever know
How the mind functions and
And how evil in the heart grow

You would be surprise all
The things the mind occupy
And all the dark evil to
The heart it can supply
It buries things you simply
Would never and cannot see
It’s like a silent hill and
A hundred year old tree
So never underestimate
The power of the mind
It somehow brings out
The worst in all man kind

Every time I think
That I am free
The Image of your face
Is all that I see
I have tried my best to
Stay out of your world
I am left with no fact
And right back in love

Every morning that I manage
To crawl out of bed
Visions of your face
Flash through my head
I know that being with you
Is a waste of my time
There’s nothing new with you
I’ve heard all your lines

You told me how you felt
On our last vacation trip
It’s obvious to say; you
Ended our relationship
I tried to forget you
And move on with my life
It wasn’t easy for me, I
Had to cry tears and fight
Now I see you again;
You want to kiss, and hug
Just one touch from you
And I’m right back in love

What happen between us
Could never be again
Silent tears I shed but
This relationship has end
May be I will always
Love you in my heart
It’s better this way
It’s better that we part
I will never see you again
I’ve move on with my life
The next man I get
I hope he treats me right

Why would you scream at me when you know it hurt
Why can’t you realize my heart loves you so much
Why call me nothing when I am your mate
Why we can’t resolve this before it’s too late
If loving me is so easy why I can’t see it
And if your love is plenty why can’t I reap it
Why do we scream and why do we fight
Where did our love go in the falling of the night…

Why can’t I grasp what you say is real
Why it doesn’t matter the way my heart feels
Why in this relationship we both can’t feel free
Why your eyes say differently whenever you look at me
I just want to know why we can’t be as before
Why it’s so easy just to walk through the door
Why you can’t hold me when I’m lonely and blue
Why it seems to always be about you…

Why did I think you would always be in my life
Why I don’t have strength day after day to fight
Why can’t I walk away and never look back
Why can’t I stand on the side line peeping through the cracks…
Why I can’t see that your love for me is gone
Why I can’t walk away and just leave it alone
Why I can’t see you are more trouble than you’re worth
And why I promise never to leave you on this earth
Maybe I can’t find the answers or walk away with the truth
But at least I’ll know why “I’m wasting my time with you”