Fighting back tears
Her eyes heavy and despondent
She looked up at the sky for consolation
To try and find beauty in the clouds
But the sky was utterly empty.

Sometimes bad memories don’t just haunt me…
They taunt me
They ridicule me
They corner me
They make a fool out of me
They bully me into denial
They take away my perception
And my whole concept of reality
They make me feel crazy
And vulnerable
And ugly

They break me down until nothing is left but those hideous voices…

But then each day
I hear the birds chirping
And I know the sun is hiding
Beneath a dark sky

I walk outside
To a breath of fresh air
And I know that there is life
Beyond all these fears

I am only as small as I make myself out to be
I am only as weak as the nightmares that consume me

There are dark sleepless nights
But there are also bright vibrant days
And so once I control these thoughts
That devour my insides piece by piece
I will finally have my mind back
I will finally be at peace
I will finally be free
I will finally be me.

And would you believe
      The twinkle in my eyes
              The fluttering in my chest
                      The awakening of my soul
When he spoke those smoldering words
"When I look into your eyes I'm home."

And that was the moment she realized




                                                                                  He did not love her.

In a matter of seconds

I was crying

Without warning

I was curled up in a ball

Screaming

My demons

Gnawing at my insides

Spitting out rotten flesh

Like I was the bad fruit

Thrown aside

To decompose

To waste away

It was pouring rain all of a sudden
The pond looked vast and magnificent
So lonely and lovely
Rippling under a dark sky

The raindrops were thick and heavy
Lulling the chaos in my mind
Calming the quivering of my hands
Feeding the intensity burning inside of me

My chest ached with excitement
In that moment all I wanted
Was to paddle out to the middle of the pond
To feel connected, to feel alive, to just listen…

Listen to the cascading melodies
Nature’s somber soundtrack
Trickling emotions,    pitter  patter
Feel the sorrow of the landscape

Hear the wind’s mournful cries
Sweeping past the tree branches
Feel its soft breath in my ear
Whispering a sad but soothing prayer

It's been awhile
                                                  I'm in denial
                                                                                                       Hello poetry