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Lila Rose May 2013
Time for bed, shut the door
Nighty night, no more.
But what if.....

What was that brain? But what if what?
Do you have something you'd like to say?
But what if things don't work out your way?

What do you mean? Everything's fine.
I have nothing I need to mind.
But what if you're not accepted?

What do you mean?
After all I am loved I am.....
But what if you're not?

Wait but....
What if you fail at everything else?
Where will you turn where will you go?

Well I.....
What if this is the last time you'll be successful?
And what if it all goes down hill from here?

Please stop I.....
You? What about everyone else?
You really must stop thinking about yourself and think about others.

But....
After all where would you be in life without other's judgement?
Watching you, waiting for you to ***** up

Just waiting to take your place....

No they.....

watching watching watching

..........................................
What's wrong reality to hard for you?
Are you going to cry now? Poor baby.

Well sleep tight and have fun with life
Don't let the monsters bite, goodnight.
.....................shut up.....................
Lila Rose Mar 2013
I can't always be happy. Don't assume I'm okay. I lie A Lot .
I don't want to be comforted. I want things to be right. I want too much.
Just let me cry it out, I'll be okay. Or will I? Take me away. Far away.

I can't always be happy. My thoughts are too loud. Fake. Fake. Fake.
Don't lie to me, tell me the ugly truth. I need to hear it. I want to fix myself
Let me fix myself. Fix me. Make me perfect. But that's impossible.

I can't always be happy. I'm completely fake Pessimistic, cruel, judgmental world.
Change me. Make me as you want. Make me happy.
Make me in your image. I'm clearly the opposite of that now. Escape.

I can't always be happy. Help me I'm falling. Quickly catch me before it's too late.
Is it too late? Am I mad?
Who says I'm not? Pathetic. Ugly. Fat. Weak. Disappointment.

I can't always be happy. Fake people everywhere. They lie. Liars.
Am I a liar? Am I a ******? Am I desperate? Am I seeking attention? Is this a cry for help?
No.                No.                     No.                     No.                                   No.

I can't always be happy. When am I truly happy? Am I fake?
Tell me a story of a better place. Far away from my mind.
Fake, Fake Fake. Everyone is fake, but I'm the biggest faker of them all.

I can't always be happy. I don't need help, leave me be. I can work it out, alone.
Don't analyse me. Don't reprimand me. I've been good. I've kept everyone else happy.
Isn't that my job? Let me bottle it up, that's what I do best.

I can't always be happy. Don't assume. I have other feelings too.
Don't be surprised. Get away from me. I need a change.
Change in what? Change in anything.

I can't always be happy. I'm lonely.
How can one be so lonely with so many people around? I have no clue.
I don't belong anywhere. Is that so? *Don't go.
Lila Rose Apr 2013
I'm not stupid.
Don't you dare call me that.
I try my best but sometimes it's not enough.

I'm not a genius.
I realize that.
If you were to ask Einstein about poetry, do you think he could answer every question?

I'm not beautiful.
I will never be.
But I can dream can't I?

I'm not nice all the time.
It's okay for me to get angry.
It's only human.

I'm not perfect.
I realize this.
No one is.
Lila Rose Apr 2013
They became my family.
My new big dramatic family.
We sing and dance and act.
It was fun, but I didn't belong.

I couldn't sing or dance or act,
but I wanted to be one of them,
to be part of the family.
To belong.

At the same time,
I wanted to see my family shine.
To reach new heights with their talents,
the talents that I did not have.

It's ironic really,
the way I fit now,
I'm part of a big puzzle,
yet I'm such a little part.

I am so little,
but I feel so loved
and I try my best to return the love I receive.
That's all I really wanted.

Sometimes I still wish that I was a bigger part,
but I can wait a little longer.
I can do it for them,
my big dramatic family.

I still do not sing or dance or act,
but I do see my new family shine.
I make them shine,
I am their light.
Lila Rose Jul 2013
Crawling crawling crawling back

Nice try little ***** but we’re not falling for that

You poked and pulled  and tried to turn us into “that".

What is “that" you ask?

" That" is talking behind our back.

" That" is pointing out the flaws we try desperately to hide.

"That" is making us the bad guys when you are the one at fault.

Oh yes when we haven’t been watching, you have been becoming “That"

A " That" is one of the worse things to become though and you don’t even realize.

So have fun you little " That" in your " That" little world because you’re going to be there for a while.
Lila Rose Jul 2013
Hush little mind, don't you cry
Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep tonight
Spinning, spinning, spinning about
Why am I worrying just right now?

The Past is in the Past
The Present is here
But the future is what I fear.

Butterflies flutter all about
Hush little ones don't worry now.

— The End —