Dream of my demise

Because the pain is swallowing me

This is one of the few things I can see

It sprouts inside

Like a disease

That can’t be controlled

I realize that life is not mine to hold

Because one day we all die

Death’s fingers you cannot pry

  

The End is on the phone

He wants to talk to you

He says “In a sense we all die alone”

I hang on this because my mind is dark

The world isn’t an easy walk in the park

Dying is easy

Life is harder

  

Innocence is gone

Forever knowing that

The dawn is gone

I am gone

Because life you have to endure

No matter what we’re always at war

Death, we cannot hide

We can’t pretend that we’re alive

Even if it’s suicide

I know I’m dead inside

Empty inside

  

Life can’t be given away

No matter how I pray

If I could, I would die

Commit suicide

To give someone another chance

To be happy

  

Because I don’t want others to suffer

Death is inevitable

And I’m stupidly in love with that fact

Dream of my demise

Dying is easy

Life is harder

  

And I say this now

Because I’m not afraid of death

I’m waiting for it

Every second we’re dying

Getting closer

To the point we’re almost flying

  

I want to run from my mind

To cut my tears

And **** these fears

Try to escape

Seal my fate

Not suffocate

Under society

  

It’s truly a nightmare

To be alone

To feel abandoned

To not trust

To be trusted

  

Because you’ll let them down

And they don’t need to suffer

Voices used to speak

I miss them

I miss the happy little girl I was

My heart used to glow

Now it’s black and torn

Sinking through the spikes

This heart used to beat

Used to dream

  

Of little kittens and fluffy clouds

Now I imagine what I wish

Pale skin

Green Eyes

Meadow with black roses

Snow falls soft

I lay here

Dream of my demise

Dying is easy

Life is harder

  

Black and white

And I’m gone

Dying is peaceful

Dying is easy

Life is harder

Life hurts

  

I lay here now

Snow covered grass

Surrounded by green trees

Black roses make a bed

The sky is grey with clouds

  

Snow falls softly

My skin is pale and cold

Green eyes

My heart flies

  

Death is peaceful

Love is hurtful

Ignorance is always

Innocence is gone

Dream of my demise

Dying is easy

Life is harder

  

  

  

  

Give life away

Take the price to pay

I take the knife

Slice twice

Watch the blood pour

Feel the rush

Pain is crushed

Feel your heart soar

  

Medication overdose

In your blood

Feel the rush

Life is seeping

I am bleeding

This is suicide

  

Bathroom door slams open

Hear the scream

In my dreams

They found the note

In my room

About how I’m sentenced to certain doom

  

I know I’m dead

From their cries

I feel the smile on my lips

Under my demise

I gave my life away

  

I know my casket’s open

I feel the tears fall down on me

Screams of grief

Shouts of joy

The rest I cannot hear

  

And I feel safer

Death is peaceful

Dying is easy

Life was harder

Life was hurtful

  

I see the knife

In the forest

Blood in a pool around it

I can taste the blood

  

Death is sweet

I’m still slipping away

And death has come

My pain is gone

Love has been fulfilled

  

And anger is gone

I can feel what it’s like

To be happy

For my heart to be steady

  

Curled up in a ball

Safe and warm

I can feel the snow fall

This black heart is forever gone

Now the others can see the dawn

  

Decode my existence

What was my purpose?

To fade in the distance?

I was no one’s paramour

And I won’t be anymore

  

Dream of my demise

Dying is easy

Life is harder

I am gone

  

There goes my hero

If I had one

And if I did

Let the flames begin

Because

  

Life was harder

Dying was hardest

  

Dream of my demise

  

My excuse

To run away

To be afraid

Can’t be told

I want to scream it

  

  

But no one would come

This isn’t taken truthfully

Full of meaning

Isn’t seen as how destroyed I am

  

My breathing falters

All the time

On the inside

Act at school

Play along

Keep my heart beating

Still not even

But they can’t hear it

  

See how broken I am

In my room

Still acting

Just listening

To the band I pretend to like

  

I hear someone move

I start to panic

Hide my cuts with the blanket

“I don’t need help” I chant to myself

But I know I do

I refuse

  

“I didn’t do it”

I sadly sigh

“Just a dream”

Not suicide

  

I did cut deep

In my sleep

Wait in bed

Let it bleed

I look at the walls

Pictures plastered

“Pathetic” I whisper

  

The TV is off

I check the clock

2 A.M.

On the dot

  

  

Take a C.D.

Put in headphones

Put it on repeat

  

I fall asleep

To Flightless Bird, American Mouth

I dream of my secret

The one only I will leave with

  

I’m acting again

The next day at school

Breathing slightly better

But my heartbeat is louder

And more uneven

Still empty

  

I do my work

Repeat and ditto

Everyday

Acting

But not Broadway

  

“Just follow the pattern” I think

  

“And never come back someday”