most likely bleeding
bitten to below the nail bed
luckily they grow back fast
just to be depleted again
scabbed over fingers
i wonder if he still wants to hold my hand?
even my fingers are messed up
ill just wear gloves

are we in the glory days?
or cant we just say were in high school
are the glory days really living with 10,000 pounds of pressure on our shoulders?

when that car door closed
on december 12th
the day we had all been dreading
i have never felt more alive
then i did from september 16th to december 12th
more like myself
more happy
than ever
everything reverted
back to normal
why cant i be with them again
and run on lower field
and laughing and skiping and talking
forever
for three months
now its only me
a run through my mind
and crying and cutting and thinking
everything is worse
december 12th
ever since
i hate it here
this isnt home
not anymore
i want to go home
i will never be home again
im not at home with myself
puffy eyes hiding behind big framed glasses
and scarred arms hiding behind sweatshirts
you were three months clean
and the minute you came "home"
real home is gone
and who i was there too