i'm afraid of emotions
i'm afriad of time and emotions
not emotions like im afriad to show them
i'm afraid i'll forget them
i'm afraid of time because time will make me forget emotions
i'm afraid i won't be able to put the emotions im feeling in the proper little glass bottle to save so it could help me explain the amazing emotions i feel being a human
i'm afraid
i'm afraid i'll forget.

time and time again we lets the bales fall
by the time it ends, did we give it our all?
wincing at the winks of death, oh no it's colder than winter,
bittersweet, that's exactly what I'm having for dinner.
oh do you like it? - oh do you like it?
well too bad, it's my battle and not for you to fight it
it's my problems, you dont have to bite it
it's my bullet, you don't have to nike it
yikes and ****, bikes and flips
rail ways down to the beach liken it
to the railways going deep in that forest
trains go back again, like how i look back at the horrors
of older loves,
people change like the seasons on they T.V. screen
Waste away, binge watch, how could you not scream?
and new meanings to words that change it all
but how we gunna change if every year we drop the ball?

This fist full of life, warmed by paper
If I was to ever be cold, I know that money could solve it
Even in the deepest of economic depressions
Frequent days of labor, and frigid restless work until twilight

hold it back hold it back for moment
quite frankly, I don't know where I'm goin'
honin skills just for the moment
this **** is drainin my life and im broken

maybe i dont need them to be happy
might just do it for clout if you ask me
but can't say that it's blasphemy
but it's a blast for you,
and that's prolly why im always feelin' ******

sittin' in a chair, 4 a.m. and im frozen
lamp light off I just be knowin that you're hoein'
sounds at the door, waitin to be open
pounds on my heart, weight me down, no wonder i aint growin

it's like im fallin over digs but i aint volley
yeah I met a couple chicks but you didnt call me
you set yourself up, kamikaze
why'd let myself become this softly

So i, swing open the door, wind blows and a car hits it
don't know what to do, gotta be at work in ten minutes
Barely numb to the events, God really pushing my limits
Or it's the devil tryin me, with his ******' gimmicks

i dont know why you love me, you're barely even cupid
i dont know why you hate me, you're dreams are hardly lucid
I don't know why you **** me, your feelings are too fluid
I dont know why I stay, i just know that I'm too stupid

-

the moon of my life; you'll always have your gravitational pull on my watery heart

my heart is filled with happy tears of joy

buddying tears on the sides of my eyes when I'm so happy to see you

be around you

when we have the bestest of time

when we're laughin' the hardest

when you make me feel like the funniest

those are happy tears that fill my watery heart

the moon of my life; yes, you'll always have your gravitational pull on my watery heart

Slowly gifted
slowly lifted
the wayward ends
-
No more knots
do not's and dont's
kinks and bends
-
in a plan of attack
that I would do all again

it's only been a week
****, maybe two
feelings from left field
some boiling red
some blue
we're not good together
it may be forced
feelings like this
end in divorce

little sticks
and burnt rips
little sentiments
and barely any remnants
of things that hold you back
to ever love again
or even be my friend
to lose, you open up another pack

knuckles always bruised
lower than the rainbow
touching earth's surface
but you still have a halo
-
if you cared, you'd leave me on delivered
because, if you don't
everything will be triggered

Your angelic voice,
it just lays down on my ear drums like the finest silk made straight from the cocoon of our cultivating love.
of course, it's a raw, earthy cocoon, dropped several times off the tree of life.
but that was our origin. so why dispute it?
i brush off the dirt on my side of the cocoon but yours has been left stained from the past.
if a divine deity looked down upon our enveloped love, they would see a great divide.
one pure.
one polluted.
one yearns.
one loses.
one in the same, both feelings are identical, but for other passions.
so. i sit here.
trying my best to clean your side of the cocoon as i displace you to my side and you ***** up mine.
a forever cycle of uncleanliness and a weird form of cat and mouse.

Glided Skies
and purple rain.
Silent nights
and purple pain.

Let it be known these bruises fade,
but they're still there, in the lightest shade.

so tell me bout the moments
that we shared huh?
fully loaded with fear
like a full gun
feelin like ****
like you never won
tryna get away
but you cant run?

so tell me bout the moments
that you call out
tryna be in
but it fell out
tiny little things
like what it's all about
memory wiped clean
but now it’s all doubt?

so tell me bout the moments
that make you feel trapped
so far, ripped away
that you cant relax
**** that ship sailed
and you're saran wrapped
taken to a place
where it’s all black

so tell me bout the moments
that you sigh and hide in
why’d you mix that drink
and put cyanide in?
happiness on the floor
like some dead skin
yang was all we wanted
but it was only yin

so tell me bout the moments
that you holler
up late, nightmares
but you cant call her
is this fate, is this love?
the knife is getting hotter
so you called him
dont know why you bother

i dont know why i bother

Im still gunna keep writing
Im sad as ****
But im gunna keep writing
My **** is small
But im gunna keep writing
Ive broke girl's heart
But im gunna keep writing
A girl broke my heart
But im gunna keep writing
Im failing every class
But im gunna keep writng
Im bitter as ****
But im gunna keep writing
I want to end my life
But im gunna keep writing
Nothing is going right
But im gunna keep writing
Im no better than someone else
But im gunna keep writing
****  me
But im gunna keep writing
My poetry *****
But im gunna keep writing
I wish i didnt feel like this
But im gunna keep writing
I wish my mom aborted me
But im gunna keep writing
Im ******* ****
But im gunna keep writing
Worst night of my life
But im gunna keep writing
Nothing might work out
But im gunna keep writing
I havent worked out
But im gunna keep writing
Little **** ****** me off
But im gunna keep writing
My mind is gone
But im gunna keep writing
The **** is coming soon
But im gunna keep writing
The gun is cocked
But im gunna keep writing
Im pulling the trigger

I opened up to you for comfort and you just crumpled it up and threw it like trash
im ******, I'm *******
Im fuking,
I am ******'
*******

Don't name drop __, they wanna hear your name drop
I know you're *******, but that won't make the pain stop
Your friends are in battles too, thats why they pop,
Rethink this, this isn't something you should adopt
They say fight fire with fire, but if life so cold
Where do you find it to inspire and fight the new with the old
Drown out the night
But I can't drown out the knight
In ****** armor on the mic
Mi amor that I spite

Sippin on *** 'n monster hoping I don't go bonkers
Yonkers playing in the background as I ponder
and let my mind wander
Wonder why I'm squandering the time,
I could be making money and conquer
But my psyche doesn't concur, because life is somber
And I stay up thinking I can make the next Midnight Marauders
It's 4 am and I'm wishing life was longer
Eyes set on the calendar because our time is numbered
Thundering white Walter, water drips from the ceiling of my bunker
Bombs bombard it, I'm surprised I'm not drunker off this alter
I'm on a pedistal and my perception has altered
Now my personality has a septum, a couple I can use as fodder
Hopefully I can find a mentor to call me his grasshopper
Much needed like a jumper for this one-dimensional dunker
Drumming up my sadness like it's not like any other
You can throw shade, but I can make your day brighter

I'm a lot of things, but mostly a warhawk with synesthesia.
The sight of my enemies dropping is like symphonies, analgesia.
No mother, no father, your little boy isn't going through schizophrenia
That's just what's needed for me reach euforia
If I cut it up, rinse my face and change it to not seem displaced
I can cut a deal with my friend and maybe get me something laced
Wait, this isn't the time and place, don't be your own disgrace
Grace was your safeguard, no need to kick up the pace

Pacemakers for the worried, just incase
Peacemaker at heart, man I try to embrace

I may be young, but I think I'm wise for my age.
We are the lost ones, they're ready to rage
And I spit venom with my tongue, ready for a stage,
But I'm overstrung, so I'm locked up in this cage
Of uncertainty, normally I'd enter your heart like a burglary,
but conservatively, to help myself reach serenity
before my heart changes to a dark shade of burgundy
The urgency of your love is more valuable than currency
Together, a joint enterprise, I just need your company
Help, the urge to off myself is increasing in intensity
Now please hurry, it's an atrocity, edging the ledge of insanity
Stop me before I slaughter double you's (W's) with ease (E's)

G. O. D.
The Great One Deity
We're all just fiends waiting for your Soliloquy
So be quiet friends, because you're forever ubiquity
You're invisible, but your value is indivisibility
Perfect, because the wait for redemption is worth it
Regret, Is something I foreshadow and detect
Arts is still out there, that's not something you neglect
Be all about good vibes but you still won't gain my respect

Perpetually, bad thoughts bang against my cell walls
Even the idea of the fallen one grabbing me with his claws
Pulling me closer as it screeches of my name, is what it calls
And I'm still in my cell playing with dead peoples voodoo dolls
Paralyzed by the sites that I've seen but I can't say
Bounded to the nightmares that haunt me and can't raze
Only still sane from the outsides light rays
Leaking through the cracks so I stay sitting here as I pray
You give us this day our daily bread,
Yet my faith in you is only hanging by a thread
Makes me feel like I need a cigarette.
Hopefully, I do see you when I'm dead.

F the S. A. T.
I would much rather drop out
And sing Do Re Mi

Like, it's like life giving you bonus points for being a genuinely good person, but not exactly dividends come out.

It's more so like a lottery.

There is some high or low going out Karma, but if you're doing less than others, it doesn't mean you don't have a chance of striking gold.

More like they just did things more often and allocating their karma point count, and I don't know maybe, maybe not, influences you winning the Karma Lotto.

Shipwrecked, down south
See **** passed around
Dead fish in the water
So she got back on the ground
Good ol' gravel, but the gavel is here
Judges leer, but don't break skin
Pounded by the mallet
Empounded by the malice
Maybe that's the reason for the callus
On my heart, worked up and worn out
Another day bought, another one sold out

If anyone,
I thought you'd be the one to look past natural beauty
If anyone,
You thought I was special, and be there til thee
End,
Like a book case, filled to compacity, it's not the last of me
This isn't blasphemy, just a blast for you, and a cup of tea
But,
I was the sweetener, and the reasoner for this measure
But it's not up to scale, I'm on the rail, waiting for the weather
To,
Clear up, or whether or not you would to
My memory's hazy, and you're not too hasty to
The point it drives me crazy
Or,
Am i just an average guy
Who goes on every endeavor, so i can fly
With a halo, and some wings, when i die?

I'm not trying to be different
I'm not trying to be the same
I'm trying to be me
Fighting through the pain
I said,
I'm not trying to be the same
I'm not trying to be different
I'm trying to be me
And I am still only an infant

I try and I try and I give and I give
Give so much homie that she lives at the crib
Wouldnt doubt it since she's wearing a bibb
Too childish, cant wait to put your love up for bid
No calls, no shows. An actress lives on
Standing left stage, an Olympic baton
Melodramatics is what you pass on
No hands, no grip, but it was already gone
Not for a moment I said I wasn't fateful
Gave you a bed to sleep in, be greatful
After dinners walk off and compliment "Great! Full!"
Why have I spun down this path so hateful?
As I left off, you left the table.
Memories of messages wondering about labels
Sweet on the top, thought I caught an angel
But from any angle, hail hits are still so painful.

Wide rolls, down the window, they're looking in
Away from the walls, lights off, **** i feel like i never win
But i have to realize, there's only 1 winner, the rest is his dinner
Pleasantly, things have foregone me from me reaching the desert
Am i the main course, or something sweet, (horrible) the dessert?
But i swerve right left,
Write from right to left til the words leave and i feel right
But not for anyone else, just me
Until the quill can only be written in blood for my will
In testament, i digest powers from the unknown
Where do they come from?
Spiritual in a Physical world
Mental in a Cultural world
Why do you all do that?
Descendents descend from the heavens and rise from hell
The ruse is over, we can break it all apart
No it's not a trap, everything can be turned around
This is no race way with a racecar going forever left
If that was right, i would have left this world a lot sooner
If that was true, blood will follow the heros and martyrs
If that was false, happiness would be the easiest thing to obtain
If that was left, then someone else will take it
Monotonous leaves me livid
And boom baps bang better because ******* love it
But why, we teach to love the intricate and shun the fundamentals
Uniqueness is slowly waning, more people popuate the world
They ask you, "how are you different?"
But I've been feeling the same
Since i was a little kid, since i had that big bib
Teeter totter on this stool, toes dangling off
Foreshadowing the rest of my body
But my shadow casts a bigger picture on the scene
Playing with the steering wheel on the highway
Letting go, and it going from left to right,
Ending up sideways
I do do it.
I need to cut it, out.

A man crashes a car into a billboard pole. He is alive because his seat belt performed perfectly on how it was designed, but now the billboard is there, teetering and falls onto his car as slowly as imaginably possible. Him seeing it, he fumbles with the seat belt, trying to become free. By his own luck. Shrapnel has jammed the seat belt in place. Now as he watches the billboard slowly edges ever closer to his car and his eventual death. He screams at the top of his lungs. After 2 minutes, that cry for help has gone to a whisper. Not a man's whisper, but his car's radiator steaming after being punctured and smashed by the billboard. He is now not only trapped by what first saved his life, but also between a car and a hard place. Slowly deteriorating, his muscles giving in.

I think of u when i listen to nirvana
I see you when i daydream to frank
I hear you all the ******* time any woman sings
Ed sheeran gets sadder than normal
Tylers fantasies become realities when im w/ u
***** this is love, why dont you understand
Why the **** do you push me out?
You say nice things abt me, the whole package
Ur brown eyes r the most beautiful thing to look into bc i love that ****
I see your fear, i can sense it too
Its not tht hard to know life is hard bby girl
Empathy will be the death of me
But ****, take a chance w/ a dude like me
U say i do rare **** like make you happy
You made me a ******* man
Let me help you become a ******* woman
**** they dont call my shoulder the sham-shoulder for nothing,
so its ok 2 shed a tear or 4

Anything?
You say I can write anything?
Doesn't that sound menacing
Can write about meddling?
Like medel working
Writing about working with bronze for a bronze medal in medal working writings?
But you did say I can write anything?
I can write a dot.
But would that make you all distraught
Cuz wouldn't that be breaking the rules and I got caught
Then putting me in a cell to rot
Because that's not what you sought
But you did say I can write anything
What if I wrote the rules
To reverse the angle and make you all look like tools
For giving me this freedom, I'll makes y'all look like fools
Because now I write the rules
I can write my own legacy
My own footnotes, thumbnails, header with a 3 paragraph body
My own legacy
Ecstasy
Effigy
Hierarchy
I'm *****
Fallacy
Prophecy
Literacy
But what if I don't write anything?
Anything at all?
Leave my pencil on the paper so someone can crumple it into a ball
Or something worse, they would scrall
All over MY paper, my power
Devour all of it's potential.
Hell no.
I've invested staring at this blank paper for an hour
Better get to writing
The-

The idea was to find you with plan A
But here we are on day Z
You're the only one, check the DNA
26 days, 2 away from February
Winter winds come and go
Flowers fly but daisies grow
Flowers like me die and go
Swept by the waves of egos
But you engrained in me
You're the one who planted the seed
To make me blossom into what you see
You, my beautiful Daisy

Dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword in the sky,
Or a man portrayed happier than what he should be waking up
It's 4:52 AM on a Spring day,
but this Spring you brought me something that withers.
A beautiful flower possessed by a fellow friend.
A best friend, that has moved on from the sheer connection of needing to see one another in a consistent fashion.
None the less, this time apart strengthened a bond between brothers.
I wondered why the sky cried at a time like this.
The thoughts of a pagan would only renounce it as the mourning of a beautiful soul leaving this prosperous earthly rock.
Into the cosmos to ping pong from celestials to share of a story only one human can.
I give my condolences to not only a growing young man, but to also your family and friends whom were also close to your mother.
My apologies if I sound like a broken record, but I am sincerely sorry for your loss.
For only the minimal amount of time I've met your mother, she's radiated of the finest qualities of any person I've ever met.
She was honestly an absolute jewel to be around, her laugh gave spirit, her humor gave comfortability.
If only I knew sooner of all these events happening, I wished could turn back the clock and be there by your side, supporting you all from the beginning.
I know these are tough times, I would just like to let you know, I am firmly here whenever you are in need.
Once again, I'd just want to say, my condolences. May love and peace stay upon you and your family.

A harsh word is a harsh word
It doesn't matter who heard
I was told to be a bee,
But what if I feel like a bird?
Wanting to spread my wings
Sow my seed, maybe with a guy
Or maybe with a woman,
The limitations past the sky
Like I said, words can break civilizations,
**** humans, and say goodbye
Words can break barriers
**** hatred, and say I love you
Love isn't divided, it should be shared by the masses
But sadly, it trickled through the cracks as fast as molasses
At least it's out, shined on by the sun
Bask in the moonlight, there is no need to run.
But I am your son
Why does it matter who makes me ***?
Brothers and sisters, join to arms, even if we are different
Love different sexes or may be all together indifferent
L. G. B. T. Q. I. A.
For some it was found, others, in our DNA
Might be the Jack of all trades, but what if I feel like Jill
Is better suited for going down life's hill?
Listen, please, don't spread hate
Sure, one may agree, others might debate
But there is always a little one watching
Leaving an impression,
Whether who can or cannot have a soul-mate
Allowed to adore, love, find interesting or lust
Whom to build my life off with and trust
That's my dream, the world I want my kids to live in
Where kindness and loving someone is genuine
Because right now,
A harsh word is a harsh word
It doesn't matter who heard
I was told to be a bee,
But what if I feel like a bird?

I find this site quite amazing.
I thought of making a Tumblr that dealt with something like this.
But me, being the creep I am on Twitter,
I saw this girl with an account linked to this website.
Seems simpler and more quaint,
which is what I like.
I have a nice amount of poems that I'm going to upload right away, so my bad.
Y'all guys are cool though.