Liesel-Rose Stafford

Liesel-Rose Stafford Oct 2015

I use to write alot when I was depressed, I guess the idea of putting my thoughts on paper made my sadness feel so much more real. At the time I liked it, I liked the feeling of being fragile. It made me feel vulnerable. But I started distancing myself from it. I didn't want to live in darkness any more. My happiness grew and I nurtured it as one would do taking care of a rose grown from a seed planted in your most needed time. My perspective of life changed, it was like I was reborn into the spiritual realm and my life was but a seedling sprouting from ashes. I looked to the sun for unconditional love and I found it in the flames of a thousand skies.I reached out towards it in the hopes of finding the answers that I needed,I loved ever moment of it even though I was burning on the way. In a sense you could say I burnt myself down but only so that I could rise again. I had the opportunity to mold myself and I choose to become the closest living embodiment of mother nature herself, I haven't fully achieved that yet but I was created in the belly of a star and my veins run with blood infused with star dust. I am a magical being or atleast I'd like to think that I am, I don't want to be anything less, than a women whom someone could never forget.

Liesel-Rose Stafford May 2015

mainfesting or reflecting?

"And this is the only place where I can post something without people I know seeing it."

I was unhappy once, but I've grown. I like to think that I'm happy now.
I'm still here, and I'm still smiling and laughing.
And I think I'm falling inlove and not just with myself but with someone else.

And everything seems to be alright, but I can't help but sometimes feel a little numb....

Am I manifesting on the past?
Or am I reflecting?

I'm embracing the beauty within everything.
And negativity is irrelevant.

But the balance...I can't help but think I'm off.

I feel like I'm a highly misunderstood person,
Merely because I choose to isolate myself.

Isolation is good.

There is a very fine line between being unhappy and being lonely.

I guess I'm not either, I'm just craving for something that is bigger than myself.

Liesel-Rose Stafford Nov 2013

Words that dont make sense

I feel so useless,
so unappreciated,
over looked by most people.
Its like they dont notice the little things I do or say,
When I scream, no one looks,
Its like im a ghost in this crowded room.
Even when I act out, no one gets angry,
at the words I say.
police brutality.
no humanity.
Its like the weak are left alone but strong never grow.
seeing my reflection in a clear pool,
but not recognizing why I am here.
But when I say out loud im not happy,
all of a sudden im left alone,
but when I smile im flooded by hands
trying to grab on to my soul.
A man may drink, but not get drunk.
He may fight, but he may not loose.
Welcomed back with flowers and screams,
but no one really knows why he is back
and when he says goodnight.
its alright.
because every one thinks that goodnight doesnt mean goodbye

Liesel-Rose Stafford Nov 2013

Trance

Trance music filling the air,
Trying so hard not to mess up my hair,
But want to lose myself to the endless beat.
Take some drugs that will lift me off my feet.
Lights coming from every where,
its like im powerless, yet im not scared.
Close my eyes and fall into an endless care,
its my only escape to a world that seems not to care.
Feeling it through my bones, every inch including my toes,
smiling at a twisted thought as the bass drops and my heart falls,
Its like I couldnt give a **** if your ******* her ****,
right now I feel as if im on air,
and im deeply disturbed
and im deeply unhappy
but drugs keep me wondering
wake up in the middle of no-where, with some stranger on my side,
I called him my demon and he asked me why
I said, cause you made me wonder if I should be dead
8 o'clock in the morning and im already half drunk,
hit me with one more line ill be fine
tomorrow I will be gone

Liesel-Rose Stafford Nov 2013

Illusion's of Reality

And have I forgotten how to love or how to be loved.
Or am I just drowning except i can see everyone around me still breathing.

And as I lay there and stare into the darkness,
they whisper in my ear "you better fear me dear for I am death"
And then I wonder what kind of darkness is needed to see the stars.

Was I taken and torn apart just to be thrown in the middle of a pack of wolfs,
and attempt to fight for my life.

And then I think to myself that I should give up,
so that the wolfs can tear my skin up.
At least then I wont have to do it myself.

So when people ask about the scars on my arm,
I dont have to say self harm.
I can say I survived a battle,
and they wont laugh.

My pain is greater than anyone will ever know.
To bad no one can see my soul,'
then maybe I would have some hope.

— The End —