I drink to get you out of my head
But even with alcohol blurring up my thoughts
You are still the clearest one

there's something simple about waking up early
on a summer morning

tiptoeing down the stairs
everyone else in the house
still
asleep
unaware of your stirring

sunlight illuminating
the just recently
dark corners

bare feet pattering against
wooden floors

in that moment it seems everything
will be okay
it's easier to hope
             ---breathe

hope is simple
in the early morning

because
     you see
           no one has
had the chance
       to
  break it yet


- l. m.

he's so unsure
in the most self assured way

he has eyes like the sea
before a storm
a combination of
       blue                          
   and                  
green        
so remarkable
that you want nothing but
to have them look
into yours
the very same way

and his laugh is
a sound that should be
boxed up
and put away
to be accessed at a
moments notice
to be cherished
--always
every single time it
stumbles out
of his diaphragm

his face is
familiar
in the way of a childhood comfort
that you never want
to un-see

a mix of joy and nostalgia
that you want to relive
everyday

he has a way about him
like
he could break at
one crooked word
yet
he's strong enough
to carry
the whole world around
on his shoulders

he's unerasable
but you wouldn't
even want to erase him
if you had the chance
--he's perfect

he'd carry around all your burdens with you
and bottle up your laughs
and document every three A.M. conversation

you constantly just want to
be with him
because that's where you're okay

and you want to tell him
you want him
to know
but
he probably wouldn't want that
and in all likelihood
he would disappear
and that
would be like
trying to breathe
           under            
                    water  



- l. m.

I dream about kissing you a lot
and it kind of makes me hate myself

It makes me hate you
a little bit too

You filled something in me
I didn't know was empty
Then you left

I frequently forget that lying is a sin

Probably because*
I do it so
Often


He looked me straight in the eyes
Asked if I was alright
I replied
I was fine
Just didn't get much sleep last night


- l. m.

i didn't want you to leave
even now,  i can't let you leave me
i miss the way you laughed at all my dumb things
and pushed up your glasses every time you smiled
i miss looking at your eyes
because they are the lightest blue
and would it be too cliche to compare them to the sky
because that's all i saw
when i looked into you

i miss the way you were comfortable
i miss the way i was comfortable

you're the only thing i can write about and it's been over a year

i want to hate you
i want to hate the way you made me love
your red hair and your stupid neck beard
and your perfect nose
i hate the way i miss you

i miss the late nights
and falling asleep to your breathing
(you were perfect because you didn't snore)
i miss the friendship
the laying around listening to records
or watching movies
i hate the way i miss you because i miss you in the worst way
i miss you in the way that it
just kind of fades into a person
you stop noticing it
then one day something makes me think of you
and there it is
i miss you all the time
everyday
without even noticing

it isn't an aching
it's just there
it's been over a year but i don't think i'll ever stop missing you

maybe one day i'll just stop noticing

two weeks ago you said
you liked me
and wrapped your arms around
me
and made me feel important
but tonight you changed the subject
and now
we're on opposite ends of the couch