She stood here among blades of grass;
beautiful under the sun
and even when the raindrops
weigh heavy on her petals,
she has enough strength
to hold herself up.

She was always facing towards
the white picket fence,
where she could hear and see
the strides of shoes and rolls of wheels.
But no matter how many people pass by,
no one seemed to notice her there;
small and insecure.

So she lived her life wishing
she was brighter and prettier,
maybe taller
so she could look over the fence
and shout,
"Hey! I'm here! I exist! Notice me!"

But little did she know that behind her,
stood a flower who have always
admired her from a distance.
Though he couldn't get up and walk to her,
see her face and feel her heart,
he knew she lacked confidence and needed love.

He wanted so much to run to her,
but he couldn't defy nature
and grow legs and arms
to reach out and hold her close.
So he stays still and whispers to the wind
a message for her:
"I've loved you since the very first day
and I wish it was so easy to be with you."
But it never reached her, she never listened.

Three years passed and nothing has changed -
he loved her, she felt unworthy and never noticed him.
Until came the day he feared most;
she began to wilt.
She couldn't hold herself any longer
and wanted to go.
So she let her roots dry and her petals turned brown.

There was never a day he didn't cry
because even now the sun can't wake her.
And there was never a day he didn't wish he could also
begin to wilt so he could join
her soft remnants
somewhere up in the sky.

I'm sorry for my poetry
I'm sorry it isn't about coffee stains
On lace tablecloths

I'm sorry I don't have little anecdotes
About our shy and awkward love
Or his fearless mouth

I'm sorry the lipstick is always faded
The metaphors are sloppy, stumbling drunks
And the skies are never blue enough
I'm sorry about my poetry
I'm sorry for my poetry

I'm so, so sorry
Please just let me cry it out
I swear I'll clean it up

****** wrists
crooked smiles
     favorite words "I'm fine"
the fear in life
is nonexistent
       life it self is hell
you want to die but don't know how
just take a knife and slash it down
     25 pills to numb the pain
insecure and broken
have you once again come to the conclusion
you're already dead

i stopped by a party in 1991,
just to see what there was to see.
i told my friends i must
be getting home soon,
because it was late and i was
drunk and i was tired.
"we're just stopping by,"
they told me.
"we'll be here for 5 minutes,"
it was a new years eve party,
the date was January 1st,
1991.
i had too much fun at this party,
everyone did.
all my friends were there,
and some strangers too.
everyone seemed to be
having the time of their lives.
i was enjoying myself so thoroughly
that i lost
track of time.
lost touch with
reality.
when i left the bottles
and pipes and rolled up
dollar bills to find the bathroom,
i asked a passerby what time
it was,
they told me,
it's 2:32 p.m.
August 7th,
2013.

I thought I knew what to do
But relapse has a mind of its own
All the lessons were just a phase
And this old one has crept back up

Now is all I have
But we all give up on that saying
Don't we?